Wednesday, July 9, 2008

my favorite things

It's occured to me that I really do have a slew of sayings that I pretty much made up, or stole from someone for my own edification, and that if you don't know me - these JACK-isms just kinda don't make sense. So, here are a few of my favorite things to say:


Literally translated, this pretty much means AND ENOUGH ALREADY! I use this at the end of any tirade - it usually means that I really, really am fed up and really, really mean what I just said.


Obviously, I had to spell it my way ... but this is how I've polished and revived the "Girl, you betta WORK!" colloquialism that RuPaul created. Obviously, the RuPaul era is way over ... kinda like Wayne Brady's, except that RuPaul isn't a game show host ... but the sentiment behind his cat walk talk is very much alive and well in Jackville. In modern day talk ... Jack simply says WERK! And it's not just about runway walks. It's pretty much about anything I get excited about and that exudes the diva/bitch feel. Yes, "WERK!" is much more versatile than RuPaul. (Pun intended)


I'm fond of the dash - it pretty much shows up in everything I write ... unless it's for work and Ihave to be professional. But you can tell that the ellipsis is my friend too ... it's just one of those things that I do that conveys a very simple fact: the stream of consciousness that leaks from my fingertips onto the keyboard has no hard pauses, such to be fit for an actual period, or semicolon - no, it's all happening so fast that its manifestation in print is the glaring under-represented presence of periods in most of the things I write.


Very few people in my world have formal names. Everyone has a nickname. For instance, I'm JACK! (Crazy, I know). And Jaded is Jaded. Here are a few nicknames we've given people (we, being me and jaded et. al.)

babe, the blue ox
Cabron (C, for short)
cabroncito (c, for short)
THAT mother fucker (also known as g in other circles)
PF (this is still my favorite of all time)
The Haitian (and the only reason I add this one to the list is because it cracks me up that we say it like he's the only person ever from Haiti - and as I sit here and think about it, wouldn't people from Hades also be called Haitian?)


I reserve this for times when I totally get blindsided and look like a damn idiot. For instance, if I were to attend a wedding dressed as a jester in order to clown on the bride and groom (again, just FOR INSTANCE) ... and then got there only to find out that I was wearing the wedding colors and fit right in ... I would stand there in awe and say "SONOMABISH!" Like that.

I can't really think of anymore right now - but this is a good start and I'm sure it covers all the majors ... feel free to ask any questions. Or don't - I don't care ... I'll just sit here mumblin SONOMABISH over and over again like a mantra ... that's what I'll do.


The Jaded NYer said...

your explanation of The Haitian has me IN. STITCHES.

JACK said...

If Jack can't bring comic relief, I mean - really ... then the world comes to an end. And then we'd ALL be Haitians ....


The Jaded NYer said...


The F$%K it List said...

Jack, I am waiting on a post from you about Messy Jessie and his lovely sentiments about Obama.