Sing me the news, dammit!

Wordsmithing

Modern-day vernacular keeps the people at Meriam-Webster busy, I'm sure. I mean, do we add "LOL" to the dictionary, or not!? No, we don't ... but FRENEMY, yes.

Frenemy (1977): one who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy.

That shit is important to spell out. And Oxford didn't let me down with this other new, and equally importnat, entry:

Sock puppet (1959): a false online identity used for deceptive purposes.

And here you thought it was when you put your hand in a sock and made it talk. Silly minions, I mean ... Americans.

But there ARE some entries I'm proud of ...

Earmark (15c): a provision in Congressional legislation that allocates a specified amount of money for a specific project, program, or organization.

THAT shit is important to understand. Besides, kids should TOTALLY be using actual book marks to hold their places when reading ... especially library books.

And how about THIS new entry?

Reggaeton (2003): popular music of Puerto Rican origin that combines rap with Caribbean rhythms.

I'm proud, in a "OMG, it say puerto rican in that definition" yet "hasn't that style of music really run its course" sort of way.

There's more here if you're interested.

JACK

Sucking it out of me

Do you know that family member that is humanity's equivalent of a blood-sucking leech? The one who always manages to have a need for something (usually money) and they happen to need it RIGHT NOW? Every time, it's an emergency ... like, if I don't get 400 bucks to the landlord by 5PM, I'm getting evicted! And it's 4:35 PM.

Or, they need steel toed boots because they finally got a job, but it's at a factory and they require boots and they can't possibly be expected to buy boots when they need the job in order to make money in order to buy the boots ...

Or their kid need formula and they haven't eaten since noon. And it's 10 PM.

Or they're at your house and their tank is on E and if they don't get gas money they gotta stay the night.

I'm telling you - I'm thru. There's TWO of them mother fuckers around here and I"m THRU. One is quick to say "can you hurry up, I've got things to do" and she's fucking waiting to take you to work in YOUR car so she can have the car to run an errand. The other came over to help with yard work, filled ONE bag with old mulch and left. And there are 22 bags of old mulch back there.

I'm THRU.

I'm cleaning house.

Don't fucking come here no more. Don't ask to stay over. Don't call for milk. Don't fucking let my name fall from your lips ...

when you figure out what gratitude means, call me. but also make sure you've figured out how to give as well as you've perfected the art of taking.

I'm MOTHER. FUCKING. thru.

If I don't put a stop to it ...

My daughter. I love her so much no language has the appropriate word to fully describe its profundity. The universe knows no depth like the depth of my love for that girl. I tell her ALL the time that I love her more than any girl in the entire world. And, let's face it - I'm gay. My ass ain't lying.

But wool does not shield my eyes from the self-centered, entitled side of her that irks me. She always has to be the first, have the largest piece of cake, the most coins in her little cup from Chuck E. Cheeses, always has to decide who's "it," and manipulates her little brother to swap all the good things he has (i.e. Nintendo DS games) so that they become hers.

I've addressed it before - but today? We were driving back from their baseball practice (don't get me started on the clusterfuck that is the YMCA - that's for another post) and I told them that they had to go to bed right after we got home and took baths. The damn practice is from 7 to 8 pm and by the time I went to Walmart to replace her swimming suit because the other one's strap broke, it was 8:45pm. She asked why.

"Because it's nine o'clock at night," I responded.

"It's nine o'clock at NINE," she said mocking me.

"I said NIGHT."

"No you didn't."

"Yes, honey - I did."

*moment of silence*

"It's 8:forty FIVE," she said with a tinge of sarcasm.

"I will REACH back there and smack you, girl!" I exclaimed, making sure that she knew in no uncertain terms that I was about to whoop her little ass if she so much as SPOKE again.

"You NEED to watch you mouth," I said with finality. And it was quiet all the rest of the way home.

After her bath she came to my room and said, "dad, I'm sorry."

"For WHAT?" I asked flatly.

"For talking back," she sniffled.

"Come here, baby." And she sat on my lap.

I proceeded to detail her behavior the last few days - how she told some kid while they were playing that she was "The Boss." And how at the baseball game she wanted everyone to know she was the OLDEST.

(Do these kids think we don't watch them?!?)

I told her that she needs to stop acting so selfish and that other people want to shine sometimes - that she can't always be the best, or the first, or the oldest or the decider (dub-ya call back, if you remember). Other people need a chance too.

The flood gates opened and she explained that all the kids at daycare treat her like that and her brain makes her want to do the same to other people.

"But just because other people steal - does that mean YOU steal?"

"No."

"If other people use bad words, do YOU say them?"

"No."

You need to always stop and think about how other people feel and remember that they want to be just as special as you do ... and you can NOT continue to put other people down to make yourself feel better.

She cried in my lap for a while and I held her.

And as soon as they're asleep - I'll close my bedroom door and cry myself.

I forgive you

It turns out that everything I thought to be my past with my first love is actually quite skewed ... in our talks yesterday, we figured out that what we were each made to believe about the other was simply not true. And we were torn apart by a third, kept apart by that third party and now it's all out in the open.

We've accepted our responsibility for it - we were both young and confused and easily manipulated and so, we were. However, we both see that we're better people for having gone through it and we're both stronger than we were ... and we weren't very string back then when we thought we were.

But I am releasing said third party - I cannot live life holding a grudge and being angry because the bondage would be mine and I refuse to live in bondage.

So, PF - I forgive you.

Really. I do.

Smiling,

JACK

BET Music Awards

F

A

I


L

My First Love called

I heard his voice. I remember one of the last times I heard it - it was like 2000 or so. When I heard his voice over the phone then, my heart jumped and skipped a beat. Today? It was like he was the neighbor calling to tell me that the dog had gotten out again. It was totally void of that emotion and remorse and heartache.

I guess I really am totally over it. Who knew?!? I thought he would always give me butterflies ... but no. It really is truly something in my past. And at least now I can look back on it fondly, knowing it really was real.

I feel so grown up (I say after having recently posted that I got mad at some nigga and hung up on him)

[but he deserved it, carajo!]

I had to cut our conversation short because my boss was calling on the other line - he texted me and asked what was a good time to call tonight because he would like to keep talking. That was nice - and that I'm not making a big emotional deal out of it (like, omg! he wants to keep talking to me!) is even nicer.

Call anytime - I'd like to keep talking too.

Except if he calls too damn late, I might have to hang up on him too. JACK loves his sleep.