Am I on Candid Camera

Well, I've always said it's easier to meet men online, at least for me. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the gay stigma in the Black and Latino communities still lags behind the 'mainstream,' but for whatever reason ... the type of person I would be interested in would never really be OUT and about. So, online it is. The pseudo-anonymity that the internet provides is the perfect place for gay Black and Latino men to really be themselves, especially if they aren't yet comfortable with their sexuality or are "DL."

Interesting thing about DL is this: gentlemen, if you actually post a picture of yourself on these Web sites, you're not really DL. Just thought you should know.

But anyway, I haven't exactly been successful at finding THAT ONE while meeting men online. So, I pretty much accepted that it was a way to make friends and really it's been working. I've met two people in the new city I live in that are friendly and all and really, most of my gay friends I met online ... but you know how the old addage goes, when you stop looking for it, you find it.

So, I'm a little bit confused by how I feel about my latest date. I really like him. And the thing is that I totally went into it expecting him to have a peg leg. Or something. I really did. As a matter of fact, on our first date, I actually asked him if he had a block of wood shoved into his shoe.

He's a 6'3" Black professional who showep up in a button down shirt and a pair of slacks. I was impressed by that - no fitted, no strut, no kicks with funky colors or any other of those things that I typically associate with teenagers and grown men who refuse to grow up. So, call me crazy - I like the professional look. I wouldn't say he's model-esque, but handsome in his own right and the more we talked, the more attractive he became. It was actually quite bizzare.

This shit doesn't happen - does it? I mean, the last two people I met were THE OX and BETTY CROCKER (because his eye wandered off into the Kitchen ... keep up) and so why WOULDN'T I be expecting this 6'3" hunk of a man to be referred to as SOFT SHOE?!?!

But, look - he calls me several times everyday ... once calling me to tell me he had to attend a business meeting with his coworkers and couldn't talk but wanted me to know he was thinking about me.

Excuse me ... Lord? Stop fucking with me, ok? This better not be some game. Because my name ain't Job.

So, what else - he travels a lot for work and has felt like dating people doesn't last when they figure out his work schedule. Oh, right - I live in one city and work in another and in August, I have two four day trips, one to Nashville and one to Orlando. (HEEEEYYYYY, BOO BOOOOO!) So, no problem there. I get it. Off you go.

And the reality is that traveling keeps you apart and helps keep things going ... and truth be told, sometimes JACK just needs you to get the fuck out my face. Go workey - AHORA!

Oh, he has two kids and he's raising them. As does JACK.

I told him that my kids are number one in my life and they will always take precedence over any nigga I date ... and he concured that I should and said he feels the same about his kids.

So, he's been having a string of bad days and I sent him an e-card to cheer him up but he hasn't picked it up yet. No points for me right now. But I did tell him today that I am really enjoying getting to know him and he said, "awwwww."

Isn't that just the SWEETEST response? (Or is it normal and Im' just obviously smitten?)

But anyway - he proceeded to explain how that the fact that I understand his work life and dad life makes him feel so comfortable around me.

Obviously, the fact that I'm easy on the eyes doesn't hurt. We gon' have to work on that one so he throws those bits in there like he gonna have to do hereto unto forever.

And, folks, JACK really doesn't want to bother with any of those other niggas he knows, some who stand in the background and appear only when I decided I need a jump off. Right, even them - no interest. I don't even want them calling or contacting me so that I don't have to explain ... but I got GREAT advice from one of my BESTEST friends ever who said to just make excuses like I'm busy with work or have other plans without actually having to tell them that I'm pursuing another nigga. So, just in case SIX-FOOT-THREE and I don't work out I don't lose the network I've worked so hard to put together.

And before you call me nuthin but a fast, crabby whore - I'll have you know that I haven't had intercourse since February and I was in a committed relationship with my ex- at the time ... and to boot, it was with HIM! Jump offs usually just mean, "touch me and get this out my system but don't expect me to touch you or take you in or otherwise please you." Funny thing is - there're tons of niggas out there who are ok with that. So, why the hell not?! but i'm not a fast, crabby whore!

So, in short - I just can't believe it. I simply can't. Of course, he lives three hours away ... and conveniently I have two home 3 hours apart ... and it's a perfect triangle because it's three hours from each of my places. So, the distance may be an issue - but I am remembering that several years ago I was hell bent on finding someone who isn't local so that I don't have to involve the kids ... and letting go of that and introducing them to my ex- was a big FLOP. So, maybe it's for the good.

Well, that's it for now - stay tuned.