Tuesday, August 26, 2008

OBAMA for President!



I promise you I would make a better candidate for President than McCain. But, Barak got me beat by a long shot. Why? Hmmmmm ...

Top ten reasons JACK can’t be President

10. Except for the completely deranged, I’d clear out all the jails and start over
09. I’d declare January White History month and mandate that no one leave the house unless it snows
08. If something is just plain stupid, JACK cannot refrain from raising an eyebrow and staring at you like that until you fix it
07. I’d charge Bush as a War Criminal
06. I’d repaint the white house some pretty shades of pastel
05. Jaded would be named head of the FBI
04. The new National Anthem would be “Lift Every Voice and Sing”
03. Alaska’s state motto would change to ‘IN YOUR FACE, RUSSIA!’
02. It would become legal for any citizen to beat the fuck out of any child molester. In fact, I think I would put them on display on the National Mall, naked and invite tourists to do with them as they please (did you hear about the couple that tried to sell sex with their 5 year old for free rent? I'd want just FIVE minutes in the oval office with them bitches)

And the number one reason JACK can’t be President?

01. You can’t really be both President and the first lady, can you?

14 comments:

Mrs. MR said...

I don't know you make some compelling arguments for why a crazy such as yourself might make a good President. #'s 2,4,6, and 7 are my favorites. Just think if you were Pres. and 1st. lady you'd get to make 2 speeches at the convention. P.S. read my blog today.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lol@pastel colors. Someone in middle america would have a stroke.

And if you waiting for snow in DC, we might never get out the house.

The Jaded NYer said...

OMG!! ME?!?! Head of the FBI??? IT'S SO ON!!

"I'm hunting for you, BITCHEZ" would be the FBI's new slogan for sure.

okay, but my personal favorite off this list?

IN YOUR FACE, RUSSIA!

I'm gonna make a tshirt...

JACK said...

Mrs. MR - be right there.

Dave: I am currently *in* middle america - trust me I know. it's be so much fun putting the rainbow flag next to the US Flag at the white house and snappin my fingers at it like, "heeeeeyyy" everytime I walked past.

Jaded: Go 'head bitch, get it!

clnmike said...

10. Except for the completely deranged, I’d clear out all the jails and start over

I'll go for that.

09. I’d declare January White History month and mandate that no one leave the house unless it snows

Not sure where your going with that but it sounds good.

08. If something is just plain stupid, JACK cannot refrain from raising an eyebrow and staring at you like that until you fix it.

Is that all it takes?


07. I’d charge Bush as a War Criminal

Amen.

06. I’d repaint the white house some pretty shades of pastel

I'll Pass on this one.


05. Jaded would be named head of the FBI

Can I get the top spot on the CIA?

04. The new National Anthem would be “Lift Every Voice and Sing”

Eh kind of cheesy.


03. Alaska’s state motto would change to ‘IN YOUR FACE, RUSSIA!’

That will work.

02. It would become legal for any citizen to beat the fuck out of any child molester. In fact, I think I would put them on display on the National Mall, naked and invite tourists to do with them as they please (did you hear about the couple that tried to sell sex with their 5 year old for free rent? I'd want just FIVE minutes in the oval office with them bitches)

Yeah I heard anout that crazy shit. Words alnone cant express what I think.


01. You can’t really be both President and the first lady, can you?

There YOU GO.

You got my vote.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Number 9...you know you need Jesus for that one........I gotta say, I don't know who this Obama person is that you speak of, but he has a friendly face. (Kidding).

How do you know you can't be president and first lady at the same time. You never know until someone tries there hand at it. I think you should be that person, Jack.

You campaign slogan? "Get Jack Off into the white house." LOL

The F$%K it List said...

Yes I think that might be dangerous. Though I do like the pastels for the white house.

Jaded with a license to harass all, hmmmm.... I hear Australia is nice this time of year.

JACK said...

clnmike - the CIA is yours. But, for the love of God, your organization and Jaded's need to really start communicating.

One - you are officially my campaign manager. Go ahead and make 1.2 million yard signs with that slogan.

Mrs. MR. - Isn't it winter in Austrailia right now?

The Jaded NYer said...

so, mike, lets talk strategies...

first on the Agenda, I'm pulling a CASTRO on ANYONE who tries to leave because I'm head of the FBI... borders are closed, bitchez!!!

LOL

JACK said...

jaded and mike - I will need you two to decide if jaded's new policy will apply to mayors of major cities, like Detroit, for example.

I think Mrs. Mr. should be our Condy, the Secretary of State. She seems refined.

Not that the rest of your spitfires aren't, though. Ok?!?

Now I'm going to Home Depot for some paint. Dave - you the secrete service. Cover me ....

The Jaded NYer said...

*quoting Castro speech after the mass exodus from Cuba*
... no lo queremos, NO lo necesitamos..."

that bitch can leave, and take the Bushes and lil wayne, too!

The F$%K it List said...

Yo did you call me by my sisters name?!

Now I have to go all Solange on you, please dont link me with other members of my family or brother in law (HAHA, did you see that video)

Australia's winter is not harsh, so if My sister is the Condi, Jaded the head of FBI, I will be packing up my stuff befor ethe borders actually close. HAHAHA

JACK said...

LMAO - f$%K it, I mean her. You can be speaker of the house.

Kieya said...

LOL jack your list was effin PRICELESS

yay for #4
i'd help you pick some fly ass palettes for #6
i'd need for Jaded to use her executive power to give me a job & provide u with a list of a few more folks to be charged