Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Latinos and their superstitions

If there's one thing I have to SMH at concerning my own people is our tendency to lean toward the ridiculous. I mean, there's an underlying spiritual energy behind EVERYTHING and if you ask any first generation American Latino, several things are always true:

1) There may not be a tooth fairy, but there's a ghost that watches everything you do and if you disobey your mother, the ghost is gonna get you. Sometimes, he's known as "El Cuco"

2) The face of the virgin Mary appears supernaturally on anything from a rose petal to the face of mount rushmore

3) God always hates the neighbors for doing bad things and will "get" them - but no one discusses that we do the same bad things because we're safe. Unless you disboey your parents (see number 1)

4) Bi-polar disorder is a sexually transmitted disease akin to the clap or crabs, except with the latter two there isn't the benefit of having been fucked silly

5) If you balance a stack of pennies on your forehead, it will cure your hiccups

6) If titi dreams about it, someone in this family is about to get pregnant. And she can really foretell it. If she says she had THAT dream and no one confesses ... all the women pee on a stick the next morning.

7) If you cross your eyes, they will really, for real stay that way

8) Gay, like bi-polar disorder, is catchy. Except it's communicable like the common cold. And gay is a sure-fire way of catching bi-polar disorder

Feel free to add to the list ... because, it's truly endless.

11 comments:

clnmike said...

4) Bi-polar disorder is a sexually transmitted disease akin to the clap or crabs, except with the latter two there isn't the benefit of having been fucked silly

LMAO I havent heard that one before.

T. R Xands said...

Pfft, being gay is more like meningitis or some shit...you catch it but you don't realize it before it's too late!

Oh and hi...er, I like to blog hop so I don't have a clue how I found yours, but I just went through it a little and decided its great (I read your entry about your trip to Florida and the AOL guy and died) so I must add you to my blog roll :D if that's alright. Its not like I'm giving you serious traffic but yeah...

JACK said...

clnmike - that's the one that inspired this post - cuz it happened most recently.

t.r - Welcome! And I will add you to my blogroll as well. I see you're from Nashville. I was there earlier in August, when it was lik 108 degrees and the humidity, personified, choked you with its bare hands. So, I drank a lot.

T. R Xands said...

Oh & thanks for adding me to your blogroll as well Jack! And yeah, for some reason, every other August Satan decides he wants to take his vacation in Nashville *shrug*

The F$%K it List said...

LMBAO. Blacks and Latinos are not that different in their superstitions.

The Jaded NYer said...

m'ijo, my favorite:

if you talk and carry on in bed after saying your prayers, God will hear you and punish you.

Thanks for the sleepless nights, Nenena!!!

The Jaded NYer said...

(that's what we called my great-grandmother, FYI)

143 said...

OMG how can you forget the biggest one "I had a dream with the number ____ i have to play it today" LMAO
day and night lottery and bolita LMAO

JACK said...

143 - OMG! You are so right. "PLAY THAT NUMBER!" lololololololol

Kieya said...

Bi-polar disorder is a sexually transmitted disease akin to the clap or crabs

LMAO!!

these remind me of my grandmothers west indian superstitions:

*standing up in the house for a long time instead of sitting is going to make the house poor
*putting your hands on your head will kill your mother
*kneeling in the house will kill your mother
*stepping on cracks in the street will kill your mother

lol old folks

JACK said...

Kieya - exactly how many superstitions you have that result in killing your mother?