Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Men on Blast

Every now and again, we need some good old fashion "blow off some steam" therapy. So, I invite you to include in the comment section anything you need to get off your chest - put a man on blast ... you know there's at least ONE!

  1. This STUPID Puerto Rican I've been talking to online has gone AWOL the second time we schedule a time to meet. The first time, the story was that he dropped his cell phone in his girl's car and didn't have a way to contact me - hence, the dead air. I figured since he was falling over himself apologetic that I would try to reschedule. However, the same dead air again the day we scheduled to have dinner and go see a movie. SO, this confirms why I don't date Puerto Ricans ... flakey, evasive pricks who claim machismo but couldn't really confront a real issue if their dicks depended on it. Anyone who's wondered why I claim to be Black by Injection should now know why - whenever confronted with any type of situation that triggers the fight or flight instinct, stupid mother fucking pricans are runnin' like Forrest Gump. I should've known the first time wasn't a fluke, but you know ... third time's shame. on. wait. what was it that Bush said. shame on? him? them? What's Shame?
  2. That lousy, no good prick of a man who asked my sweet, beautiful, delightful friend for a divorce. Are you fucking crazy? Seriously? You've got it so fucking good and you don't even know it! You. Don't. Even. Know. It. Ain't no bitch out there going to put up with your neuroses, your neuroses and, oh, your neuroses too! And if you think this fucking request for a divorce is a scare tactic, let me introduce you to your wife and her friends. Less than 4 hours after your request, she had the contact information of three divorce lawyers so that she can consult and figure out which one she gels with best, she made plans for the entire weekend so she doesn't have to deal with YOUR dumb ass, AND she's had niggas on her jock for MONTHS now. Did she fuck around? Nope. Is she going to have a hard time finding another man? Nope. Now, about your neuroses - let me whisper something in your ear. "someone's coming to get you."
  3. Mr. Silent During Sex. Are you serious? All those damn faces, and not ONE sound? Not one? Maaaaannnnn - I know you're a quiet reserved person and all that ... but during SEX too? Commmeee awwwwnnnnn. You've gotta communicate SOMEHOW ... I mean, SOMEHOW. Ugh. Besides at the finale, of course - because if you did THAT silently, I woulda really wondered about you. Not that I'm not doing so already. Where're the "take that dick, nigga" men at? Will you please stand up? (The straight boys who read my blog are totally cringing at that line, I know. tee hee)

YOUR TURN - comment. ahora. t.y.

4 comments:

The Jaded NYer said...

Trini rastah, whom I suspect is looking for arm candy and that's why he's so enamored of me, can't really hold a conversation and called me a Republican as if it were a dirty word just because I won't admit that Obama is god. But I mean, excuse me, last time I checked, Obama was just a man like you and me... ugh...

still... he won't let me pay for dinner ever and holds the door open and kisses real nice and those HANDS and that ACCENT... wait, it's not one of those posts is it? my bad...

Super Dave Van Buren said...

I don't have any dudes to put on blast. Although my uncle did volunteer me to fix his friends computer. He even gave this fool my number without asking me. Damn Bastard. I don't think that's what you mean though... lol

Anonymous said...

LMAO at "someone's coming to get you". This isn't anything a little Toni and a big fat twinkie can't get me through.

That Dude Right There said...

I am DYING at #3. I hate silent sex!!!