Thursday, November 6, 2008

JACK needs to vent

You know how hey say that if you keep having the same problem that the common denominator is you? Well, obviously the problem is all me. And what's frustrating me is that this is the same problem I've identified before. And yet, here I am again.

Either I am attracted to the wrong type of guy or I attract the wrong type of guy. Either way, it's ALWAYS the wrong type of guy. Consider these things over the last two weeks:

  • I was chillin with this dude on the DL. We were sitting in a bar out in the middle of nowhere and neither of us knew anyone. I told him, "you look really good, man." The place wasn't crowded or anything ... the rest of the night goes on. We drink, talk - joke around with the bartender (she was funny) and then nothing happened because he was TRASHED. lol. I get a text message later that week "My business is gonna be all out in the streets if I keep fuckin with you." The short version from this point on is that I haven't texted, called or anything him since. DL niggas are annoying as fuck.
  • The dude I met earlier this year with whom I was smitten for for a bit ... he finally told me that he's upset with me and that he will eventually be able to talk to me. Mind you, he mentioned several weeks ago that he was just really going THROUGH it lately, and I called him each day to keep his spirits up. So, this dude is DL too (pattern, I know) and he was really feeling me and when I told him to shit or get off the pot (exact words) he got off the pot and we stopped toying around with the idea of being together. Maybe he's upset that I told him that he might be busying his life to not have to face his sexuality and he disagreed. Oh, did I mention the man has a twin brother who's gayer than the day is long and is out and the whole family accepts the lifestyle? I can't begin to understand. But this masculine man who is on the DL is upset with me and doesn't want to talk to me right now and he will let me know when he's ready. WHAT?!?
  • Been talking to another guy recently, though. Was supposed to go see him this weekend. It was my only free weekend really and I was looking forward to it. Apparently, it turned out it was the same weekend he was having a dinner party ... so he invited me to that. It's been quiet on the HIM front and so I texted him only to find out that he had to cancel his dinner party and sent out emails, but forgot me. Oh. Nice.
  • Two other dudes I was getting to know - I called each of them, left messages ... neither called me back.
I've decided I'm trying too hard. Thing is that I have it clear in my head that I'm not looking for anything serious - if it happens, then it happens. I said as much in an earlier post. But apparently, I'm STILL trying too hard.

Although, I suppose I could call back when I leave a message that isn't returned instead of just categorizing it "another nigga I ain't even gon' bother with." Yuh, I could just be desparate and keep calling ... because THAT worked really well with the nigga with whom I was smitten with.

So, aside from just accepting that I SUCK at picking men, I've also learned that apparently, masculine DL niggas turn into whiney little bitches when they don't get their way.

There I said it. It's been on my mind for a hot minute and I really needed to get that out.

Masculine DL Niggas are mirages, like oases. Except you don't have to be dehydrated and exhausted to see them. They're all over the fucking place ... hiding a terrified, vulnerable little bitch behind a stoic face and a goatee. You might THINK it's a man, because he look-uh like a man, but nay nay: Sheep in wolf's clothing.

I'm finally listening to the intelligent people in my life who have said this to me time and time again - I'm targeting the gay men who are at least as out as I am. If you're out there, email me - I'm in dire need of a good dic---- urrrr. I mean, HEY! How's it going?

(what? I had to maintain the humor that is central to my blog, right?)

carry on.


The Jaded NYer said...

Fool I done TOLD YOU to stop talking to those dumb-ass DL brothas a LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG TIMMMMMMEEEE AGO, carajo!

They need to be out and about, here and queer and PROUD of it, you hear me?

NOW you can carry on...

(Y YA!)

JACK said...

Mira, no empieses conmigo, que tengo la regla y estoy de mal humor!

The Jaded NYer said...


[insert rolling on the floor laughing smiley here]

Tim said...

DL men are evil and they need to be destroyed!


Anywho, I'm looking forward to Monday and meeting you.

¡Prometo no atacarle! Aunque haya sido un rato puesto que he tenido un hombre en mi cama.

The Jaded NYer said...


QUIEN ES This TIM dude?

*checks files*

I don't believe he is on the "approved" list.... don't MAKE ME fly out there!

*taps fingers on desk, angrily, waiting for Jack to send Tim's dossiere*

JACK said...

Tim - I need to work on this DL thing, I know. I have an affinity for them and will need to manage that now that I've made up my mind to leave those evil creatures alone.

Jaded - oh. uhhhh ... WHO? No comprendo. What?

The Jaded NYer said...

okay, you wanna play it like that???

*goes to visit Tim's blog*

go and make a date with Jack behind MY back, will ya? Oh, we'll see about that, TIM... if that's even your real name...

JACK said...

aye dios mio! LMAO.

I love the SHIT out you, girl.

I think his name might be Umduabe Boadi-Booatan ... he prolly wears war paint and carries a spear. I'll let you know on Monday.

*excuse me, Umduabe ... can I touch your spear?*

Darius T. Williams said...

What's with all these messages like this is ichat or something - lol. Hilarious.

But yo - leave them DL dudes alone. They're the main dudes that seem hard as fuck but have they're legs in the air faster than you reach for a condom. They're good for fucking - but that's it. They're horrible for dating. Plus you're right -t hey're winey little bitches...AND they'll never work out for a relationship...never.

I hope it works out - for real!

Cocoa Rican said...

Tanto nadar para ahogarte en la orilla...
So you've come this far and have worked on so much to improve yourself - acceptance, coming out and living in your truth - all to take shorts from closeted half-baked DL trash? Well pa...en guerra avisada, no muere gente...y tu estas avisado.

clnmike said...

Yup need to leave the DL cats alone.

Kieya said...

you & jaded always give me a good chuckle. i can understand the "wrong attraction" thing...i do it too & cause myself nothing but heartache.
but those DL guys are no good. be with someone who is as proud as and as good of a person as u are.