Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Eureka!

Hoover was already taken, so I can't use that name. But, oh I so want to. Because THIS shit is ridiculous:



Why do some men feel it necessary to mark their territory? This is fucking insane! And I tried to stop it, but the nigga want to hold on like he got lock jaw. LOCK JAW! So, it's like I'm the new neighborhood and he's an uncurbed dog ... (in the marking territory way, NOT the water sports way!)

Interestingly enough, I gave him the URL for my blog - so he's reading. (Yes, I'm talking about YOU!) And he needs a nickname (for various reasons) and I've decided that he will hereto forward be known as: CHUPABACRA. And you know what, CHUPA - I actually made a concerted effort NOT to leave any marks. Thanks for the suggestion that I use concealer ... I'll just dig that out of my fucking make-up bag. Maybe a little damn rouge on my neck would work too.

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself. I'm just saying that there ain't no reason for me to walk around for the next two weeks like I'm Hester Prynne. I've already decided that I need to wear a shirt AND tie every day until the busted blood vessels heal ... fuckfuckfuck. I'm taking platform in less than two weeks to teach a two-day course too. Rest assured that if anyone comes within any reasonable proximity to my neck, he's gettin' an elbow to the eye.

And FOR THE RECORD ... let me make this a-fucking-bundantly clear. If CHUPA comes out his face and invites me over again ... I mean, if he actually wants JACK again, you know I'm totally going, right? Ok, just so we're clear. But boooooyyyy if you latch on to me again like that .... bitch, BOOM!

I'm just saying

11 comments:

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lmao.. I didn't even know people still did that.

Cocoa Rican said...

Ummm...first...back away from the camera...LOL
Second, you're how old? Let me stop...every now and again I give my baby a few bruises to remember me by. Folks don't realize that love marks don't make folks less attractive, but more sexualized and desirable - well, in my experience.

JACK said...

Dave - RIGHT?!??!? Ugh!

Cocoa - LMAO, callate! I did put that camera right up on my neck tho, didn't I. Re: how old ... THIRTY MOTHER FUCKING TWO! ugh. If these fucking things make me more sexualized, I'm a be Hugh Hefner for two weeks.

dwashington314@gmail.com said...

How about Chupacabra for your "dates" name?

I tend to date Latino men and let me tell you, that seems to be the preferred method of territory marking.

Luckily, I like little dudes with small mouths. Of course, they do seem to all have jaws that can unhinge for the important stuff.

Tee.Hee.

The F$%K it List said...

lmao. a hickie? how old is Roscoe.

anyway you can just get some cover up if you don't want the world to know you bear the mark hahaha.

JACK said...

dwash: LMAO @ chupacabra. I wish I had thought of it first. Damn!

f$%k it - I plead the fifth.

clnmike said...

lol, guilty, you let around that neck and that girl will be wearing turtle necks in the summer.

The Jaded NYer said...

First of all, mister man gonna need another name because ROSCOE is the name of my LG Chocolate Phone. HMPH! (I vote for Chupacabra, too!)

Second... What in the hell is wrong with these dudes you keep meeting??? It's like the special olympics of gay dating over there!!!

Third... that photo is gonna give me nightmares for days! It totally looked like something else at first...LOL!

*pats herself on the back for not dating anymore*

JACK said...

clnmike - oh, so you're an artist too! Somehow that doesn't surprise me ...

Jaded - I can't use the name roscoe because YOU are fucking using it already?!? *YOU* Pero PUNETA, what's with the double life thing!

Re: special olympics - yo, that might explain why he dragged his left foot behind him when he walked. I though tthat was strange .... (actually, he's fuckin hot - an ARTIST, but he's hot)

About the picture - I don't even WANT to know what you thought it was.

dwashington314@gmail.com said...

SPECIAL OLYMPICS OF GAY DATING!

AAAAHHHHHHH!

I NOW KNOW WHERE ALL MY SHORT BUS MUTHAFUCKERS ARE COMING FROM!

We all goin' to hell.

JACK said...

washington - LMAO. OMG, I'm a piss myself ... LOLOLOLOLOLOL