Friday, June 5, 2009

but, of COURSE

I was up late again last night, subjecting myself to the mindless e-babble of random fools online who like my picture. I've often times considered why I frequent those sites because I really don't get anything out of them except some occasional good banter - yet, I always find time to waste there.

I don't really get a lot of attention, though. I suspect that you have to be actively searching for an immediate opportunity to walk out the door and find someone's skin to rub up against ... and, although I'm no prude (you HAVE read my blog, right?) I'm really not all about the anonymous sex 8 days a week.

Ultimately, yes - the goal is a long term committed relationship, but I was seriously when I blogged about my not looking for it anymore. I really don't expect one to figuratively fall on my lap and neither am I tip-toeing around with a rifle talking about "it's relationship season." It's the goal, but this isn't a scavenger hunt, or a race to some finish line ... those activities require constant effort to get the job done. And what the hell I look like putting forth all that effort for some nigga I don't even know yet?!? Yuh, not looking.

And I certainly don't expect to find commitment from someone online. Hell, 90-plus percent of those mother fuckers can't commit to a properly structured sentence - that's like going into a hen house while you're looking for toothpaste. Bitch please, leave the chicken heads alone.

So, anyway - there I was ... sitting in the dark, my face bathed in the soft glow of the monitor, getting tired. I finally decide that I should lay down when some dude contacts me.

We had been sending each other messages but never logged in at the same time, always saying we'll chat soon when we're both online together. And well, of COURSE it happens when I'm just about to lay my ass down and go to sleep. But I was pleasantly surprised by the normalcy of the conversation. You hear me? Not that the conversation was titillating or that it was interesting or any of that shit. I was just plain impressed that he was NORMAL. Apparently, I guess.

I give him my phone number and he calls. His voice is, again, NORMAL and a purse didn't fly out of my earpiece at me when he spoke. He asks a lot of good questions as he tried to get to know me. It gets late, though, and eventually me agree to meet tonight for a drink. So, I guess we'll see how that goes.

As I lay in bed trying to go to sleep, I realize that I surpassed the window of sleep opportunity. I'm overtired and I can't fall asleep. I lay instead in some sleep limbo ... not quite awake, but not quite asleep; not quite coherent, but not quite dreaming. And I hear this ridiculous noise and it sounds like coughing or gagging or something ... and then what sounds like a baby fussing.

I figure that my sister in law showed up with her son and I think to myself that it's strange for her to show up at this hour. Strange, but not something that would've surprised me. And so it didn't. I stayed instead in my limbo, floating between reality and the sweetness of my dreams, unable to enjoy either.

But then I just say fuck it and I get up. I step in some nonsense in the hallway and realize that the dog made a mess. And I mean A MESS. shit and vomit all over the hall way and then I step in it again on the area rug in the living room.

My roommate is sleeping in the living room (it's her dog) and she notices me in the kitchen acting strangely and asks me if everything is ok. NO. The dog shit all over the place and I've got shit all over me. She gets up and there we both are cleaning the damn shit up. (and this is an appropriate place for the word: literally).

But the dog really is acting strangely. And it dawns on me that he probably had another seizure and that THAT'S what I heard from my limbo ... not my sister in law's son. The dog is burning up and we take him to the emergency vet clinic.

Sure enough, he had a seizure. but, OF COURSE he seized. and of COURSE I didn't get up for him. His temperature is normal as a post-seizure temperature, though and pretty much it cost us $90 to confirm that he had a seizure. The fucker emptied his bowels, bladder and stomach during in the process too. Poor thing.

I got to bed at 5:30 am this morning. at 9:00 am, the sister in law rings the doorbell.

of COUSRE she rings the doorbell.

of COURSE she brings in her son and some girl she's baby sitting.

of course.


RunningMom said...

"His voice is, again, NORMAL and a purse didn't fly out of my earpiece at me when he spoke."

ROFLMAO! That shyt was priceless.

Normal is a great thing, how did your date go?

Is that a real pic of you up there in the corner? Cute ;)

JACK said...

My date went well. It was a memorable date for good reasons. He was a gentleman ...

And yes - that's a real pic of me. I'm trying to do things different because although I am maintaining my blog, I'm still not really 100% invested and I'm really trying.