Thursday, May 22, 2008

This vibe make the air go 'hum


The air is thick and I feel the imminence of SOMETHING as if it were an invisible wave of energy pushing me dreadfully close to a precipice that drops off into the depths of the unknown.

In short - something's up in this mother fucker ...

Consider the following evidence:

  • My new coworker tells me that the dude who currently has the title I used to have in my previous job has had some trouble in the past with the President, not being able to create a budget properly.
  • The new boss tells me that there was a bit of a shake up at this place before I got here and the President let a bunch of people go. He mentions that there's one more left who is on shaky ground.
  • In casual email conversation with a third individual in the office, I answer her query regarding how I'm doing by saying something along the lines of, "I've not been fired yet, so that's a good sign." Her response was, "I probably shouldn't be telling to this, but it's VERY unlikely that you would be fired." (emphasis not added - that's how she wrote it)
  • Yesterday, while talking to my boss about the brick wall that is IT in this place (actually, I was complaining because the IT guy wouldn't help me earlier when I had trouble with the damn scanner and while I was in there, the IT guy walks in with a female coworker to help her on said machine because it was acting up) - I said, "I think the problem is that I'm neither a Director *or* a female." The new boss looked me square in the eyes and said, "Well, that'll change soon."
So, given all this evidence - I know something's up ... and it's KILLING me to know that there's something a' brewin' and I have no idea what it is. (Well, considering that last bullet point, I am totally assuming the boss does not think I'm soon to become a woman - because that's the only other alternative and he doesn't know the alter ego (JACK) I display on this blog) I'm riddled with anticipation and I just want this shit to happen already, just so I can be done with it.

Meanwhile, I suppose I have other shit to deal with ... like the fact that this place is afraid to throw ANYTHING away and I inherited a program for which the certification status of over 1,000 individuals has expired - and there are 9 file cabinets worth of files that I have to go through to pick out the itty bitty manila folder of each of these expired people and throw that shit away - but not before I go through each one to verify that they actually HAVE expired. I'm through with A-Q and it's day 4 of this project. I've filled up the recycle bin to the tippy top each day - the custodians hate me, I'm sure.

Anyway, if something jumps off in this bitch while I'm in the corner over there with my head buried to my shoulder blades in a file cabinet drawer ... would you kindly come get me?

Thanks.

4 comments:

The Jaded NYer said...

how you only there a month an already got shit jumpin off?

I tell yuh... just like a PRican...

JACK said...

How I'm 32 and can't GET a jump off? How about DAT?!?!?

Midwestern men totally suck.

Irene said...

So, they are either going to make you a Director or they're going to pay for your sex-change operation.

Hmmm, wondering which one would have more benefits.
LOL!

JACK said...

Seeing as how I already know how to be a director, I'm going to do with that one having more benefits. That, and since jaded already has the market cornered on TWINS - it just doesn't make sense for me to compete.