Ranting a la JACK

I've not been blogging as regularly as I used to - so, there're a lot of things I need to get off my chest ... and you get to read them all at the same time. Lucky you. But I'll keep it to three issues right now.

Issue 1
On Sunday April 19, 2009 the following Crime Alert was sent out to all University faculty, staff and students:

A student reports he was stabbed on April 19th at approximately 4:30 am in the 1200 block of Michigan Street. The suspect is reported as a black male approximately 6' 200 lbs wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt. The student appears to have non-life threatening injuries.

Later that day, another Crime Alert came through, this time as an update:

Crime Alert-April 19th update...The student who earlier reported he was stabbed in the 1200 block of Michigan street now says his injuries happened due to an accident in his residence hall room and no crime occurred.

ENTER JACK: Why the fuck you gotta lie, though? I mean, I'm not sure what the fuck kinda "accident" gotta happen that you get stabbed and don't want to actually fess up about what happened ... I really don't even WANT to guess. But, whatever it was ... you's a dumb ass bitch.

And why the pseudo-perp gotta be Black? Why? To be REALLY honest, my first reaction when i got the first crime alert was this: "stupid wanna be nigga can't even stab right." That's right - I said it. I was mad that the dude wanna be wielding a knife and is too afriad to use it. I pictured this stupid nigga in saggin' jeans (the designer type with all this embroidered design along the back pockets and faded down the legs) who wann talk all hard ... but who only struts when he walks to keep his pants from sliding down to his ankles while he walks. A nigga who goes home and bakes and shit. Soft.

And then ... later that day ... Wasn't even a stabbing out in the street! I shoulda known the story was a fake. Black men who wield knives don't. fucking. miss.

(Now, guns is a whole 'nother issue - those stupid mother fuckers NEVER shoot the right person. But stabbing?! Niggas got that)

And who the hell buys gray hoodies anymore? COLOR is in!


Issue 2
My parents came to my graduation. It was great. I made dinner reservations for the night before. Except, my parents have been divorced since I was 7 ... and I had *no* idea that on the even of my graduation, the night I made dinner plans at this fancy restaurant, would have been their 40th wedding anniversary.

Why?!? My dad brought mom a gift and she swore up and down it was an anniversary gift ... even though my dad bought a gift for me, one for my son, one for my daughter, and one for my mother-in-law, too. But mom insisted that HE REMEMBERED!

Now, I love my mom - so much so that I've got to admit that she's a little bit 'touched.' Always has been. Her view of the world is always a little bit skewed, and this was no exception. The next day after my graduation, we went out to eat again and she sat touch close to my father ... and apparently, there was some touching underneath the table ...

But do I believe this, since it's my mother who told me?

Yes. Why? Because I'm her son - and if it's inappropriate to tell me something, she's going to do it. Because she's contrary that way.

So, yuh - THANKS, mom. I got my master's degree and you and dad copped a feel. I'm glad I could be there for you. Just whatever you do - don't end up having another kid. 1) you're pushing 60, and 2) you're not exactly what we call 'good with kids.'


Issue 3

This stupid graffiti in a stall at a northern Indiana truck stop:




It reads: A nigger has risen to the highest office in the land and he still requires government housing.

Here's something that really irks me about racism - why is it that White people (I know, you're thinking that I'm assuming it was a White man ... but you didn't see this truck stop ... it was a White man) aren't all out with it? Like, why didn't this mother fucker SAY this out loud ... because I sure would've LOVED to hear him say it.

And why is it that the fact that the President living in the White House rent free is suddenly an issue? Isn't Obama the 44th President? Yuh, I thought so.

The issue of government housing ... in it's truest form, "The Projects" isn't a group of luxury condos we just LOVE to live in. I lived in The Projects in the South Bronx ... and I can tell you that there was not ONE of my neighbors that thought "omg, we LOVE it when mice crawl out the radiators." If you're allergic to cats, you're fucked ... because we all fuckin had one. And if you happened to end up with a cat that wasn't a mouser, you got another one who was. Declaw? No - not because we were too poor to invest in our animals ... but because we wanted to make sure that fucking cat got them mice and got them GOOD.

Have you ever tried to take a mouse away from a cat? I liken it to what it would be like to take away from me that mother fucker who would recite that graffiti to me as if he were saying something.

I'm not surprised, mind you - I have friends who really have trouble with the idea of the latency of racism ... great friends, in fact. But there it is ... in the proverbial black and white ...

I hate it that it's touted how far we've come simply because people have learned to suppress their racism ... the hearts of man have NOT come so very far if you ask me.