Thursday, January 22, 2009

Krabby Patty

You know that type of person that is never happy? Always trying to find something to complain about? Not even the 'glass half empty' type - but the 'who the fuck drank half my tea!?' type ....

and not just the 'who the fuck drank half my tea' type, but the type that goes around telling EVERYBODY that someone drank their fucking tea ... and it's rude to drink someone's tea.

You know the type?

Well there one of those curmudgeons here in my office - she's a miserable wretch. I mean, the biggest bitch of a woman EVER. She complains about every fucking thing ... she never volunteers to help anyone out and complains if someone asks for her help. She sucks her teeth and throws mini-tantrums while she "doing your work."

And she's an administrative assistant.

Now, there's nothing wrong with being an AA. But, when you're an AA, it kinda says it right there in your title. You kinda have to assist people. Unfortunately, you don't always get to choose who you assist. And that's not an exclusive expectation of Administrative Assistants. I can't fucking tell you how many mother fuckers I get on the phone with whose voices I really don't care to hear ... and I certainly don't give a fuck that their businesses are struggling and they're laying people off and blah blah blah. But you know what? I kinda have to do it.

Today, she seemed to think she could win an e-mail war with me. WITH WORDS! OMG, I was totally awn iT. ok? She wanted to send me emails with instructions about what *I* had to do. Bitch, slow your row. This too fast for you.

She told me I needed to make a phone call to get the email address of someone she had already been on the phone with. So, I sent her a polite email with instructions to get people's email address when she's already on the phone with them because that's better customer service. Apparently, she says she knew the process. Bitch, obviously not.

So, in the copy room, as fate would have it, Krabby Patty and I bumped into each other ... and she said not a word. And in my most polite, nicest voice (and I wore a smirky smile while I spoke) I said "excuse me."

Krabby Patty did not give me my joy, and Krabby Patty cannot take it away.

So, I've decided that Krabby Patty has ZERO more chances to send me a terse email. If it happens again, JACK is confronting Krabby Patty ... today was fun, knowing that she was fuming that I could have the audacity to email *her* instructions. (tee hee - it's like I drank half her tea!) But it really isn't my style. Next time, JACK gets into Krabby Patty's face to explain how to properly address me. Something along the lines of, "Your email was terse and disrespectful. I refuse to ever demand respect, and if you don't think I command it, that's cool - but you're going to exercise professional courtesy when you address me. Please and Thank You? Those are mandated by pretty much every definition of Professionalism I know. And since we're at WORK, my expectations are such. If you need to take a class, let your supervisor know - I'm sure we'll foot the bill. Whatever it takes - but that's how you WILL address me. Is that ok?"

I'll keep you posted.

JACK

8 comments:

RunningMom said...

Terse just became my new favorite word of the week!

I would give a whole jug o'tea to be around when you put her in her place!

RunningMom said...
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The Jaded NYer said...

OOH OOH OOH!!! What is this heifer's info 'cause me n her need to have a chat. WHO IN DA GOOD GOD HELL does she think she is??

See- if you don't like your job either get a secret blog to complain about it or get a new one. Otherwise STFU!

Please have me on speakerphone or Bcc me whenever this showdown takes place. PLEASE?!?!

Super Dave Van Buren said...

first I've had them lil gummy krabby patty snacks.. they not so bad.

Second "Krabby Patty did not give me my joy, and Krabby Patty cannot take it away." is my mantra for the day... lol

fuzzy said...

dont let krabby patty get to you! lol the post actually made me laugh, very similar to a happening to me 2 years ago...

Sean Stone said...
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Sean Stone said...

Yeah, BCC me too. I can't wait!!!

Gaggin' @ "tee hee - it's like I drank half her tea!"

I have a similar coworker, except she can't keep her damn mouth shut. She's an attention whore to the extreme, you hear me... EXTREME!!!

PRIMO said...

I used to work with someone like this. Her Name was Patty And they behind her back called her Krabby Patty while leaving the Candy in her mailbox lmao.