Survey SAYS ....

I understand the importance of surveys - I really do. In the form of course evaluations, they serve me well in my line of work. And I know that the marketing people of the world just salivate at the thought of a 60+% return rate and all that raw data.

But don't ask me stupid shit, please. More importantly, don't ask me A LOT. I mean, I try to be sensitive to the fact that survey return rates are low and I try to be helpful when I can be ...

... but I just got a fucking survey from the CDC. Now, don't get me wrong - The Center for Disease Control is important as fuck. But a 15-page 141-question survey? Are you fucking kidding me? SERIOUSLY?!?!

I swear the CDC is trying to give me angina. Who was the marketing expert over there who said, "oh, 141 questions - that's PERFECT!" That bitch. I want to meet THAT bitch because I have some choice words akin to:

Look, numb nuts ... people out here are working for a living too. Yes, I know you poured your soul into creating that survey, but you need to step outside yourself for a minute or two. A ONE FUCKING HUNDRED FORTY-ONE question survey? Do you know how daunting that appears to the survey respondent? Do you know how those 15-pages yell at us, in almost an audible voice, "beaurocrats, red tape, dumb asses!" Do you know?

So, if any of you out there are creating surveys - keep it simple, keep it cute, and in the words of bon qui qui: don't get crazy.