Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Top Ten lists a la JACK

Top Ten Reasons Obama Should Address Race Issues


10. Are you fucking kidding me? He’s the fucking President. Can the man BE President first? Then he can take up race issues about what it was like to be the first Black President and how race impacted him and his office and what his views were as those issues arose and blah blah blah. This whole fucking notion that he should talk about it because he IS President totally undermines the actual job of BEING the President. Isn’t his plate already fucking full? I mean, you know what … Haiti – stop bitching. It’s just an earthquake. President Obama got a roundtable with Al Sharpton – he ain’t time for this shit.





Top Ten Ways to Fuck Up late Night


10.Remove Jay Leno

9. Replace him with Conan

8. Replace Conan with Jimmy Falon

7. Make up a creepy show for Jay at 10pm

6. Watch ratings plummet

5. Convene a meeting

4. Start talking shit that you’re gonna shake things up

3. Watch Conan murder you on live TV

2. Watch Letterman stew that he STILL isn’t getting The Tonight Show

1. Have FOX get interested in Conan



Top Ten Bitch Ass Punks in Women’s Sports


10.Mark Mcgwire

9.Mark Mcgwire

8.Mark Mcgwire

7.Mark Mcgwire

6.Mark Mcgwire

5.Mark Mcgwire

4.Mark Mcgwire

3.Mark Mcgwire

2.Mark Mcgwire

1.Mark Mcgwire

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sing me the news, dammit!

Friday, January 9, 2009

The song that never ends ...

I've seen scores, if not hundreds, of pictures of Barak Obama - but I really like this one. I think he looks better in a light suit like this one. The earth tones do his complexion justice, I think - the maroon in the tie? Love it. But that's an aside - and I just wanted to get it out of the way because I didn't want to interrupt the flow of thoughts that are about to spew from the depths of the depths of me.

I read this article in the Red Eye. It's a free edition of the Chicago Tribune that you can get free on most every corner in downtown Chicago and at pretty much every train stop known to Chicago man. I'm not an avid reader - mornings are my nemesis and I can't commit anything to every morning except pure disdain. Mornings interrupt my favorite pastime, encroaching on my blessed sleep and pouncing on it out of nowhere as if morning were a wild tawny Sphinx and my sleep a loving, peaceful, oblivious bunny watching butterflies hover by effortlessly.

WHAM!

Bunny dead.

Tawny Sphinx belly full.

But this article was one I wanted to read - The End of Racism? it asked, and I rolled my eyes. Seriously?

No. I meant it. Seriously!?

Why is this even a topic of conversation? Why am I sitting on this here train reading an article asking a question akin to "Was Jesus White?"

HELL NO! What kind of stupid question is this. How many blonde haired, blue eyed Prince Charmings do you know that are born in Bethlehem? I know of none. Jesus wasn't Aryan and Barak Obama's presidency does not the end of racism make.


But as I considered that read, and all the hoopla in the news over the past 18 months ... I thought about where this was coming from. And I boiled it all down to this one quote I found in another article about what Barak Obama's race is:

"He can't be African-American. With race, white claims 50 percent of him and black 50 percent of him," Ron Wilson of Plantation, Fla., wrote in a letter to the Sun-Sentinel newspaper.

Ok, I won't even get started about the fact this this jackoff is from PLANTATION, Florida. I'm not going there. But the idea that Barak Obama suddenly CAN'T be African-American is a fucking mess. Forget Barak Obama's own words when he said, "I identify as African-American--that's how I'm treated and that's how I'm viewed. I'm proud of it" and forget about the fact that with this quote the man flatly said that "African-American" is a way to be TREATED ... I won't even go there either ...

Where am I going?

Remember when McCain gave the mic to that precious old lady during one of his "Town Hall Meetings" and she said that Barak Obama was an Arab? Remember that? Remember when it seemed that ALL of West Virginia was refusing to vote for a Black man?

Oh, right - he's a fucking nigger when he's running for office ... but let the man actually WIN ... and suddenly,

"Of course Obama is black. And he's not black too," said Rebecca Walker, a 38-year-old writer who is of Russian, African, Irish, Scottish and Native American descent. "He's white, and he's not white too."

So, let me get this straight. Nigger when running for President. "Not Black too" when he wins. Interesting. The "one-drop" rule takes on a whole new meaning when the man wins, I see. Now that he's going to be sworn in as President of the United States, he's not Black because he's at least "one drop" White.

Don't come at me talking about racism is dying. It's not. Maybe, MAYBE i'll give you that overt racism is being swept under the rug temporarily - sure, some people actually have examples to attest to that "fact." So, I won't argue with you (unless you live in West Virginia) - your personal experience is valid and you have a story to tell.

But this isn't about you - because those of you that read my blog don't fall into any racist category I'm referring to. I believe that wholeheartedly. Be ye Black, White, "one-drop" mongolian. "LATIN" (that one kills me - it's latinO) - whatever. If you're here ... you good. And I'm hoping my comments section doesn't blow up in some discourse about whether or not you feel I'm pointing a finger at you personally. I'm not.

I'm simply saying that I find it interesting that 8 months ago we were talking about whether or not we could vote a Black man into office ... and today, we're talking about the fact that he's not really Black because he's half White ... when historically speaking, that man is Black as HELL. BAH-LACK AASS HAAYY-EEELL.

So please, stop the bullshit. And start treating him "African-American" like the man say! (I say with the ONLY faggoty twang of sarcasm while flipping my hair, turning and walking away dramatically)

*slams door*

returns momentarily

Cuz you KNOW you don't look at the Obama family portrait and see three Black females and a White man.

leaves

*slams door*

[muffled from other side of door] He Black!





I got my quotes from this other Red Eye article

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

$12



Stop fuckin playin - it's a $12 donation for a damn T-Shirt. And if your ass ain't in one of these bitchez on 1.20.09, I'm a boycott your blog! So there!



Buy a shirt ... so JACK can keep it cute.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Here we go again ...

Remember when Kwame Kilpatrick started actin' a fool? Well, folks, another democrat is fuckin' shit up again ... I introduce you to Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich, shown here in this Associated Press file photo:



As you may know, now that Barak Obama is President Elect, he vacates a senate seat. Additionally, as Governor of Illinois it is Blagojevich who gets to appoint Obama's replacement to finish out the current term. So, a democrat (Blagojevich) gest to make this appointment.

[insert loud crowd cheering noises]

Yet, Blagojevich has been arrested because he was trying to SELL the senate seat for personal gain.

[in unison, crowd "awwwwww"]

That's right, folks ... the Governor of the State of Illinois has been incarcerated for trying to seel a fucking senate seat to the highest bidder, proof positive that the origin of the term Windy City is indeed in regards to politics in the City of Chicago and not just due to the weather. The City of Cincinnati totally feels justified right now. (you'll have to wikipedia The Windy City and read about the Cincinnati reference if you really want to)

Ok, I remember when Kwame crossed the damn border to go into Canada while he was on parole and came back talkin' about how he didn't know he couldn't leave the country even on official city business. (Right, because Mayors have trouble interpreting the law) And I even remember the whole wide-stance incident with the Idaho senator at the MN airport - because no one EVER finds out about your tawdry sexcapades in public places ....

But trying to sell Barak Obama's senate seat?! REALLY!? Idiot, Idiot, IDIOT - just the first Black man to become President and you're going to inconspicuously sell his senate seat to the highest bidder? Seriously?

Look, I was walking down Jackson Blvd yesterday when his motorcade rode by. The streets were blocked off and those secret service men with their (quite menacing looking, I might add) sniper fire at the ready in those Black full-sized SUVs rode by first with all their windows open ... then a bunch of decoy vehicles (don't ask me which one Obama was in) ... and bringing up the rear? An ambulance ... (maybe in case those snipers at the front of the motorcade actually had to take someone out - who knows) ....

And you think that things surrounding this man go unnoticed? Seriously? You do know that the secrete service and FBi and CIA et. al. can tap your phones, right Governor? Oh - my bayd. I'll add your stupid ass to the wide-stance/can't leave the country on parole? list of political ridiculousness.

So, just so we're clear - within the last year, there have been scandals involving

  • The Governor of New Jersey
  • The Governor of New York
  • A Presidential nominee
  • A senator from Idaho
  • The Mayor of Detroit
  • The Governor of Illinois

Mark Twain once said that there are lies, damned lies and statistics. I'd like to add politics to the list, please. Thank you.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Obama, Latinos and My babies

Clearly, this is time magazine and they get all the credit for this here pic. So, Time, don't come at me talking about I stole your picture and all that ying yang. It's your cover, I done told everybody, Y YA!

A special thanks to JADED for traipsing all over New York City in search of a copy of Time magazine for me. And the November 5 issues of the NY Post and NY Daily news. I was stuck in RED-AS-HELL Nashville, TN during the election and I wanted as many keepsakes as I could get. Except I didn't have transportation so I asked her to find them for me. And she did! That's LOVE right there, people. She isn't all into politics, this was her first time voting and she didn't exactly have a good experience at the poll, and still she went out and did this for me. *xoxoxoxoxo*

So, this weekend I told my kids we would read the magazine. "BARAK OBAMA!" they exclaim gleefully whenever they see his picture. The article I chose to read was one that I thought the kids would be most interested in, less about numbers and strategies and more about how Obama is a Prince, because he made a King's dream come true. Great article.

As I read, I asked them each if they could be President when they grew up. My son says, "yes ... if I WANT to." He's the best. He wants to be an engineer like his daddy, and great as Obama is ... Obama's not as great as his daddy. *tear* I love that boy to PIECES.

At one point my daughter stops me and asks, "What's a Latino?" I explained it to her that it's people who speak Spanish, like us! She points to her brother, "Latino?"

"Yeeeesss."

She points to herself, "Latino?"

"LatinA. It's like abuelO is a boy, and abuelA is a girl. So, LatinO is a boy, and you're LatinA, cuz you're a girl."

"Latina!" she says as she points to herself.

"Right!"

"It reminds me of cappuccino"

"Why's that baby?"

"La-TEEN-OH .. cah-poo-cEEN-OH"

"I guess you're right. How do you know what cappuccino is?"

"Cuz I'm smart."

"You really are, baby."

I'm telling you, it's times like those that make all of the sleepless nights and all of the illnesses I've endured from having them sneeze and cough in my face and bearing all of PF's bullshit ... it's all worth it right then ...

When they seek you out and ask for a hug and say, "I just can't get enough of your hugs," you realize that in their eyes, Obama ain't got NUTHIN' on you.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

America the Beautiful

Remember when the rest of the world used to respect this country? Remember when we actually had pretty good relationships with UN Nations and for the most part everybody liked us?

It might seem like many moons ago ... well, probably because it was. I have been concerned about this year's election because I knew that I knew that I knew that if this country couldn't elect Obama (you know, the man who gathered a crowd of 200,000 + in Germany?) and instead elected McCain (you know, the man who recently emptied a town's schools so that they could attend his rally and it could appear full? The man whose town hall meetings weren't nearly as well attended as Jim Jones' trip heading south?) ... we would've been perceived as a regressive country unfit to lead the world, incapable of being a world power ... and oh, the repurcussions that would've brought with it.

But - nay. We got it right. Well, about 52% of voters got it right. And this article made me remember what it feels like to feel proud, to beam with it so damn intensely that chills run down my arms and makes the hairs on my neck stand at attention. (I mean, you know you SOMEBODY when Nelson Mandela write you a letter, ok?) You don't have to click the link if you don't want to - here's the text:

PARIS – Barack Obama's election as America's first black president unleashed a renewed love for the United States after years of dwindling goodwill, and many said Wednesday that U.S. voters had blazed a trail that minorities elsewhere could follow.

People across Africa stayed up all night or woke before dawn to watch U.S. history being made, while the president of Kenya — where Obama's father was born — declared a public holiday.

In Indonesia, where Obama lived as child, hundreds of students at his former elementary school erupted in cheers when he was declared winner and poured into the courtyard where they hugged each other, danced in the rain and chanted "Obama! Obama!"

"Your victory has demonstrated that no person anywhere in the world should not dare to dream of wanting to change the world for a better place," South Africa's first black president, Nelson Mandela, said in a letter of congratulations to Obama.

Many expressed amazement and satisfaction that the United States could overcome centuries of racial strife and elect an African-American as president.

"This is the fall of the Berlin Wall times ten," Rama Yade, France's black junior minister for human rights, told French radio. "America is rebecoming a New World.

"On this morning, we all want to be American so we can take a bite of this dream unfolding before our eyes," she said.

In Britain, The Sun newspaper borrowed from Neil Armstrong's 1969 moon landing in describing Obama's election as "one giant leap for mankind."

Yet celebrations were often tempered by sobering concerns that Obama faces global challenges as momentous as the hopes his campaign inspired — wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the nuclear ambitions of Iran, the elusive hunt for peace in the Middle East and a global economy in turmoil.

The huge weight of responsibilities on Obama's shoulders was also a concern for some. French former Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin said Obama's biggest challenge would be managing a punishing agenda of various crises in the United States and the world. "He will need to fight on every front," he said.

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said he hoped the incoming administration will take steps to improve badly damaged U.S. ties with Russia. Tensions have been driven to a post-Cold War high by Moscow's war with U.S. ally Georgia.

"I stress that we have no problem with the American people, no inborn anti-Americanism. And we hope that our partners, the U.S. administration, will make a choice in favor of full-fledged relations with Russia," Medvedev said.

Europe, where Obama is overwhelmingly popular, is one region that looked eagerly to an Obama administration for a revival in warm relations after the Bush government's chilly rift with the continent over the Iraq war.

"At a time when we have to confront immense challenges together, your election raises great hopes in France, in Europe and in the rest of the world," French President Nicolas Sarkozy said in a congratulations letter to Obama.

Poland's Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski spoke of "a new America with a new credit of trust in the world."

Skepticism, however, was high in the Muslim world. The Bush administration alienated those in the Middle East by mistreating prisoners at its detention center for terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and inmates at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison — human rights violations also condemned worldwide.

Some Iraqis, who have suffered through five years of a war ignited by the United States and its allies, said they would believe positive change when they saw it.

"Obama's victory will do nothing for the Iraqi issue nor for the Palestinian issue," said Muneer Jamal, a Baghdad resident. "I think all the promises Obama made during the campaign will remain mere promises."

In Pakistan, a country vital to the U.S.-led war on the al-Qaida terrorist network and neighbor to Afghanistan, many hoped Obama would bring some respite from rising militant violence that many blame on Bush.

Still, Mohammed Arshad, a 28-year-old schoolteacher in the capital, Islamabad, doubted Obama's ability to change U.S. foreign policy dramatically.

"It is true that Bush gave America a very bad name. He has become a symbol of hate. But I don't think the change of face will suddenly make any big difference," he said.

Obama's victory was greeted with cheers across Latin America, a region that has shifted sharply to the left during the Bush years. From Mexico to Chile, leaders expressed hope for warmer relations based on mutual respect — a quality many felt has been missing from U.S. foreign policy.

Venezuela and Bolivia, which booted out the U.S. ambassadors after accusing the Bush administration of meddling in their internal politics, said they were ready to reestablish diplomatic relations, and Brazil's president was among several leaders urging Obama to be more flexible toward Cuba.

On the streets of Rio de Janeiro, people expressed a mixture of joy, disbelief, and hope for the future.

"It's the beginning of a different era," police officer Emmanuel Miranda said. "The United States is a country to dream about, and for us black Brazilians, it is even easier to do so now."

Many around the world found Obama's international roots — his father was Kenyan, and he lived four years in Indonesia as a child — compelling and attractive.

"What an inspiration. He is the first truly global U.S. president the world has ever had," said Pracha Kanjananont, a 29-year-old Thai sitting at a Starbuck's in Bangkok. "He had an Asian childhood, African parentage and has a Middle Eastern name. He is a truly global president."

___

AP correspondents worldwide contributed to this report.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Kids - you can be President

As tears flow down my face, the realization sets in that our President elect is bi-racial. Like MY kids. And I can now tell them, in GOOD conscience, that they really, really can do anything they want ... my bi-racial children can become anything they want. They can even become President, if they want to - Babies ... listen to daddy: You can be anything you want to be.

ANYTHING.

This is so much bigger than winning an election. This is so much bigger than one party over another. This is so much bigger than one platform over another. This is bigger.

Bigger than Anything.

Bigger than anything I have ever been alive to witness.

ANYTHING.

Barak Obama - Thank you.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

JACK's Favorite Republican

He really addresses the current political landscape very eloquently. In particular, I like his take on the Muslim faith in this country. Watch this in its entirety if you haven't already. It's well worth it.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Jews for Jesu - I mean, Obama

I have a Jewish friend, so I couldn't possibly be racist! (great call back, no?)

Well, said Jewish friend shared this with me. And I loved-ed it! ENJOY!


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Separation of Church and State?!?

He's redundant and says some things over and over again, but when you sort through it ... it's an interesting, errrr, sermon

Friday, September 19, 2008

A double minded man ... a double-jointed woman




And I absolutely adore this ... it makes my top 5 favorites posts of all time. (Jaded recently introduced me to another that ranks up there with this one - I will soon post a blog with a link to all five of my favorites - but later)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

John McCain look-uh lika man

Watch his eyes. I love when he reaches for his wedding ring.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I feel the same way


If the Republicans win, I swear to God .. I'LL DO IT!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

JACK's Believe it or Not - Take I

99 Bottles of JACK on the wall ...
I really can't believe that this is my 99th post. I think for my 100th, I will BRIEFLY post pictures of my and the babies for me reader's viewing pleasure. Just so you know who the hell JACK is. But they're coming down within 24 hours. I can't justify leaving them up there. So, get your trigger finger at the ready and don't let go of that mouse ... JACK and co. is comin ...


... Take one down and pass it around ...
Not sure if this is for real - but it's the talk of youtube. And I thought I'd share. If it *is* true, it seems we uh have a nigga in the White House either way. *gives Palin pound*



... 98 bottles of JACK on the wall.
Wait - has it been SEVEN years since the Twin Towers came down? Wow. I got a call from the ex-wife today telling me that the kids were asking why there were flags everywhere and she tried her best to explain it. And my son was like, "oh, I seen those pictures of the two planes and the building." Wait - he's 5. No one was explaining Pearl Harbor to me at 5. When I was 5, the world was a safe place where nothing bad happened.

Apparently, his teacher at the daycare has a 9/11 book. Why the hell does the lady in charge of the fucking FOUR YEAR OLDS have a 9/11 book in the house? Seriously?!? I mean, I have a nice, neat collection newspapers and magazine from September 2001 for this express purpose - to show my kids. And THIS bitch wanna drive me to drink for real.

take uhn dwmn psssh it 'rind
I really don't have time to waste. I've already met someone else and I have a date on Saturday. We're going to see the new Tyler Perry movie at 11:30 AM. Ugh @ AM. I'm not you average morning person. Anything before noon is really annoying. But whatever. We've talked and texted every day this week and Jaded already gave him his nickname: Ashy Larry. So, AL and I will finally meet on Saturday. Stay tuned for more.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

No Words - September 10, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

But it's not a recession?

A quickie about how annoyed I am that this government is trying to convince me an economic recession exists only in my head.

  • Doesn't the unemployment rate have a battering ram up against 6-percent's front door?
  • Hasn't my 401(K) earned -18.6% year-to-date?
  • Hasn't my son's 529 plan lost money each month this year?
  • Hasn't the value of my house been mocking me in the face for two years now?
  • Didn't the government just buy out Freddie Mac, afraid is was going to follow Bernie Mac to the afterlife?
  • Oh wait - it wasn't just Freddie Mac? Oh, ok.
  • Inflation is going UP?! What?
  • Isn't gas priced like it's liquid diamond? Doesn't it cost me $300 a month to fuel my car?
I'm tired of all this pussy footing around. Let's just face it, Washington - IT'S A GODDAM RECESSION.

The fact that the proverbial "they" won't just fucking say it makes me want to grab that W by the neck and shake him.

That's right - I put it out there.

Just tired.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Is it time to repent?



Again, I don't usually post two in one day, but I felt compelled (again). Thanks to the National Hurricane Center for the above picture. I am convinced that some higher power is making our country pay for electing an administration riddled with pious, self-centered assholes committed to the Bush family's personal agenda. (I'm classy, using pious and assholes in the same sentence)


I was convinced a couple of years ago when those three hurricanes pummeled Florida in one month that it was Karma's way of fucking them up for not knowing how to vote (What was it Hurricanes Charlie, Jeanne and Wilma or some shit? I can't keep track anymore) in 2000, but now I'm convinced that Karma is forging a larger spread attack on the US as a whole to teach us not to spend all our damn money on a stupid, dumb ass war abroad when we could really use the money domestically, like in Louisianna because of Gustav, or in Florida, or South Carolina, or [insert coastal state here] ... or on repairing a broken education system, or on the homeless problem, or on a broken social security system, or hell, on potholes even! God help us if we can't get it right and reelect the republicans. Karma got more than hurricanes - tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes ... she's got a lot at her disposal and I may have to be the first Puerto Rican to flee the United States to seek refuge in Guadelajara.


Friday, August 29, 2008

Have you seen this blog?

How about I'm tired if the religious right making a big fucking deal of this shit.

If you're so on the right that you're looking at this man and his family like they're from the depths of hell, then get right with God. Take your stupid, tired, greezy asses to church, hide in fear and shut the FUCK up. Pray a lot, blog less.

I've heard a retarded comparison of the 666 mark of the beast and the number of letters in Barak's full name. Aye dios, really? 6+6+6 = 18. Barak Hussein Obama has 18 letters.

Christians = Silly Fucks : same number of letters. We can play this fucking game all day, carajo.

Lee Harvey Oswald = John Wilkes Booth: same number of letters. Apparently, assassins all have 15 letters in their names. (You see how this works?)

In the end, look - if your Christianity is telling you to be this judgmental and outspoken, if you are willing to risk being wrong and offending the man in front of God and everyone ... you are likely not right with God yourself.

That's really all I'm saying. You can't be right with God and preach this nonsense.

Obama's speech at the DNC proved several things to me:

  • It's true that being a minority automatically means that you have to work two, three and four times as hard to get the same things as a White. And, would you look at what we can do when we actually step up to that challenge!
  • Michelle absolutely adores that man. As soon as he came up on stage her eyes lit up and I saw love in its purest form. You hear me? That woman LOVE that man.
  • Obama ain't no punk. He ain't just ready to have debates - he sayin to the Republicans, BRING IT, BITCHEZ
  • Bipartisan seems to be the metaphor for race. That is, when he said it's not about Red and Blue, I could plainly hear him saying it's not about Black and White.

I could go on and on - but those are my highlights.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

OBAMA for President!



I promise you I would make a better candidate for President than McCain. But, Barak got me beat by a long shot. Why? Hmmmmm ...

Top ten reasons JACK can’t be President

10. Except for the completely deranged, I’d clear out all the jails and start over
09. I’d declare January White History month and mandate that no one leave the house unless it snows
08. If something is just plain stupid, JACK cannot refrain from raising an eyebrow and staring at you like that until you fix it
07. I’d charge Bush as a War Criminal
06. I’d repaint the white house some pretty shades of pastel
05. Jaded would be named head of the FBI
04. The new National Anthem would be “Lift Every Voice and Sing”
03. Alaska’s state motto would change to ‘IN YOUR FACE, RUSSIA!’
02. It would become legal for any citizen to beat the fuck out of any child molester. In fact, I think I would put them on display on the National Mall, naked and invite tourists to do with them as they please (did you hear about the couple that tried to sell sex with their 5 year old for free rent? I'd want just FIVE minutes in the oval office with them bitches)

And the number one reason JACK can’t be President?

01. You can’t really be both President and the first lady, can you?