Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Good riddance decade!



I don't feel very centered right now. But I refuse to take that nonsense into the next decade. I am determined to clear my mind, clean the slate and maybe even turn in the dusty, unseemly chalkboard of the 2000's for a new, pristine white board onto which to begin writing my 2010s.



Clean slates are good. I am ready to shake my head really fast and erase all the negativity, as if my mind were an etch-a-sketch and my resolve is the hand of a rambunctious toddler trying to erase the scribble to start all over again.



My last post discussed a very serious issue I'm struggling with and I'm not entirely certain yet that I will officially out myself to my parents, but I think there's a possibility. The reality is that there exist a myriad of things that I need to fix. In no particular order:

  • I need to get my ass back to the gym on the regular. Several years ago, on January 10th of that year, I began a diet and exercise plan that lasted 10 months. I lost 40 pounds and felt great. But I stopped going (for good reasons at the time) and just never picked it back up (for LOUSY reasons). I got into a relationship and got complacent and slowly the weight's back. It's gotten worse over the last year, though ... but I think that I'll start again in 2010 as an outward expression of my commitment to a better me.
  • I've got to get my financial house in order. I've given myself 5 years to clear my portfolio of all unsecured debt ... of all vehicle loans (I'll drive this Altima until the hubcaps come flying off across the interstate, and then some). I refuse to be turn 40 and carry the debt load that I do. So, there will be some changes.
  • I've got to get better organized in general - living in two cities is rough and I seem to constantly find myself needing something that I've left in the other city. It's gotten better, but it's far from perfect.
There are others, but those are the biggies. And I'm putting it all out there once and for all - I'm tired of constantly dealing with the same shit year in and year out. I'm just over it. And I'm using the turn of the decade as my catalyst to a better me.

And, yes, even *I* am surprised that having a man isn't on this list. It's just not on it. There are some things on the inside that I need to mend, and although I welcome the companionship and am willing to be a helpmate to another man who is willing to be mine, I am SO over the notion of wanting him. Needing him. Looking for him.

Bitch - YOU find ME.

Happy New Year all.

3 comments:

.::.~*Dovie*Lee*~.::. said...

"I've got to get my financial house in order. I've given myself 5 years to clear my portfolio of all unsecured debt ... of all vehicle loans (I'll drive this Altima until the hubcaps come flying off across the interstate, and then some). I refuse to be turn 40 and carry the debt load that I do. So, there will be some changes."

NOW THAT WAS FUNNY! AND A DAMN GOOD THING TO GO ABOUT ACCOMPLISHING!


And living in two cities will age you faster than crack cocaine. You had better figure this thing out sir. You've got too much life to be ripping and running....dont want to put too much stress on that poor body. It loves you....go back to loving it too!

The Jaded NYer said...

ooooh, can I have that etch-a-sketch???

JACK said...

Thanks Dovie - comic relief is commonplace around these here parts.

Jaded - I appreciate your concern SO much, carajo