Wednesday, December 31, 2008

La Curita


This dude pretty much sums up my 2008. Instead of reflecting on the pros and cons and systematically reviewing the year, I'm taking another route. Let me summarize the 2008 nonsense with a little christmas story:

I woke up Christmas morning in a bit of a fog. The kids were with their mom until noon and I was going to pick them up and then have them for a week. The presents were all under the tree, overflowingly so. And I really don't know how a damn tree can OVERflow from the BOTTOM, but whatever - I spoil them little bastards ROTTEN. All wrapped in various and sundry types of wrapping paper layed a desktop, several Nintendo DS games, school supplies and coloring books and toys all ready to be ransacked at about noon:01. So, all this meant what? It meant that I had planned well and gotten everything done beforehand. It meant that I had several hours to myself ... before an entire week of nothing but kids. And I needed some adult time ... and I needed some ME time. And I needed a MAN!

Unfortunately, I contact Mr. Still Doesn't Know My Last Name. He invited me over (because I told him to), warning me that he had a coworker passed out drunk on his couch. Whatever - I'm on my way. Now, if you've been keeping up with my blog, you know that Mr. Still Doesn't Know My Name has has several opportunities to ... how you say ... complete the task ... but has never managed to do so. This self-proclaimed 100% top doesn't seem to be able to cork a bottle. But eh - it's Christams, right?

Since the coworker is passed out on the couch, I enter through the back door. I thought it funny (for obvious reasons, right?). So, he makes coffee, I have a cigarette and he lays on the bed. I walk over to the bed and there right below his navel .....


Obviously, I touch it and ask, "what's this?" Well folks the stupid mother fucker invites me over to fuck and neglects to tell me that less than a week before he had a fucking hernia removed!!! OMG - the world just froze there for a few seconds as the words washed over me ... I decided that this was HIS problem. I mean, the last time when he took those damn over-the-counter sexual enhancement pills and I thought his heart was going to explode, I was concerned about him. But at this point, I'm concerend about ME.

Well, he got up in the middle of the festivities to take a pain pill ... so, he didn't get any and all I got for Christmas was a tossed salad. I've decided that 2008 was the year of the band-aid. And my son summed up how I feel about bidding it farewell when he took this video:

video

Au Revoir 2008!

7 comments:

The Jaded NYer said...

eso a ti te pasa por ser cabeza dura!

(pun intended)

oh, and BTW, yo no estaba desnuda con Mr. Beisbol anoche, no siree bob... no fui yo...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

JACK said...

THE SERIOUS RESPONSE:

What the .....

Mira, puneta, no jodas conmigo - oistes?

THE JACK RESPONSE:

well that explains why i didn't hear nuthin last night ...

The Jaded NYer said...

what a coincidence... tu no oistes nade, y yo no SENTI NADA...

let's just say, I had to execute the good ol "shoulder tap"

Why are we so hard-headed?!?!

T. R Xands said...

Ugh, I'm bout ready for 2008 to be over as well...instead of a toilet I'll have to opt for a garbage can though. Nyugh.

*doesn't bother to bring her high school level II spanish into conversation*

JACK said...

AU REVOIR 2008!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO @ T-Rex Level II Spanish

Curious said...

I'm speechless, in english and spanish. Let's all hope that you'll be able to find a truss-less 2009.

clnmike said...

Lol, sorry abut your bad luck.

Happy New Year!!