Straight men suck too

Did you hear about this? About this man who had sex with the umbrella hole of a picnic table?

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=105778

Jay Leno mentioned it during his monologue the other night and questioned what the women in his town actually looked like that he would find a picnic table attractive. I thought that shit was funny.

In my research on this bullshit (yes, I looked it up - and, um, just be careful which sites you click on) I learned (from psychology today) the following:

"Inanimate object fetishes can be categorized into two types: form fetishes and media fetishes. In a form fetish, the object and its shape are important, such as high-heeled shoes. In a media fetish, the material of the object is important, such as silk or leather. "

I'm confused about the picnic table. Was it its flat rectangularness or it's being wood?

"...other common objects used by fetishists are panties, bras, slips, stockings, other intimate apparel, footwear and gloves. Common materials other than those listed above also include rubber and fur. "

Nope - doesn't say wood anywhere.

Must be rectangles - right?

I just don't get it.