Monday, March 10, 2008

Treading New Waters

Well, I'm not exactly sure this title is accurate, because I continue to e-meet people on skeezy websites ... but I am VERY particular about meeting people in person. I'm not tryin to end up dead in a man-made bunker in some midwestern plain tied up and ball-gagged. But I'm talking to someone new now ... and we're just chatting.

He's low profile and I'm realizing that all the men that seem to be worth ANYTHING are either on the down-lo or just don't want but a certain few people to know. So, for that set of the gay-male population, I have a question:

Exactly what do you have to offer a partner?

I'm chatting with another dude in another state who isn't quite ready to accept the totality of his homosexuality, or the totality of his heterosexuality. Living in limbo, he seems to be content. But during our talks, we touched on the fact that I'm divorced and have children.

So, I explain to him that I had to come to the realization that if I didn't make a choice, I wasn't good to either gender. I offered nothing more than that tinge of doubt to ANYONE, because no matter how good everything else is there always exists that little bit of SOMETHING that questions me. And since I would be living in limbo at the time, I can't blame anyone.

So, just make a damn choice. Certainly there exist people, both male and female, who are equally happy with a partner of either gender ... fine. But many, MANY a gay man is wearing a heterosexual cloak because, oh - I don't know - it makes life easier? You don't do anyone any good living like that. No man ... no woman ... not even yourself. Your relationships always seem to lack something and your partners never really get ALL of you.

So, pick one - and enjoy the comfy new waters that await you on the other side of "who the hell am I."