Parenting in the new Millenium

You might think from the title of this blog that I am writing about the children of other people. You know, about the ridiculous antics of other people's children out in the mall, or even at a restaurant. And I've been known to say "no the hell won't my child act like that in public," or something to that effect. But in this blog, I am actually writing about MY child.

So, yes - Jack has two children. I focus on the older of the two: the six year old. She's daddy's girl for sure and whenever she's at daddy's house she totally works that angle for all its worth. Lately, it's the pouting thing - and I'm over it. She can pout and cry the river Jordan for all I care ... I just send her to go flood her bedroom and not my precious living room.

But this morning! Oh, Lord have mercy on her soul ... and her ass because I'm about to tear it up! She's acting a fool and not listening to me and all that and it's all par for the course with a six year old right? Well, get this ... I get her strapped into her booster seat (her borther already strapped in on the other side of the car) and I am telling her that she cannot behave the way she is behaving. And do you want to know what this child did? MY child? She put her hands over her ears and bowed her head down.

Talk about seeing red. Chile, I done saw EVERY shade of red ... crimson, magenta (even if it's more purple) ... and that God awful blood red. But I kept it cool, not-so-gently removed her hands from over her ears and ranted and rave something along the lines of, "you must be out your mind if you gonna cover your ears while I'm talking to you - you will listen when you are spoken to" blah blah blah.

Well, get this - we get to Walgreens (in one piece) and I have to buy candy because theyr'e doing this easter egg thing at daycare and thankfully I found last years plastic easter eggs so all I needed was candy. And do you know this child had the nerve to ask me for a little stuffed rabbit. I had a mind to put my fucking hands over my ears and bow my damn head. I really did. And I SO should have.

But I told her she doesn't get to act like she's been actin and then get toys for it. She apologizes and then asks again. Ha! That ain't working either, little one.

But be it known to every reader of this blog (all one of you) that if this child puts her hands over her ears again while I am talking ... I'm a beat the fuck out her like it's 1982 and the neighbors gon' join in to take over when I get tired. That's the shit parenting was about back in the day and as I look around at today's kids (especially those ones actin a fool at the mall, or even a restaurant) it's abundantly obvious to me that we need to turn back the clock, beat some sense, some respect and some behavior modification right the fuck back into them.

Can you see yourself puttin your hands over your ears when your mother or father was talking to you? I mean, can you imagine the repercussions in 1982?

My daughter gon' be able to explain it to you the next time she puts her hands over her ears when I'm talking to her.

Stay tuned.