Playa wit' no game

Look, if you’re going to call me boo and talk about how when you are going to hold me .. about how my head will just only gonna reach your chest … and how cute it is … and tell me about how cuddling is so important to you and if I like to cuddle …

You tryin’ to woo me.

When you tell me you’re too busy to come into the city to meet with me – you’re raising red flags.

But when you tell me you’re in the damn city and had dinner with a friend? You done fucked up your whole game, playa … the WHOLE game.

So after a few hours, I text the following: “Our last conversation got me confused. Well, pensive.”

How about my phone rings within mere minutes. Gee, I wonder who it is.

So, I bring up the obvious – and he admits that he’s talking to two other dudes.

But seriously – why the fuck couldn’t you just say that in the first place? I mean, it’s all good – for real, FOR REAL – it’s all good. Like, I’ve been talking to you and not exclusively …

But you know what’s funny? He never asked – it just has not even crossed his mind that this guy is expecting me to go to his place on Thursday night to get my birthday present … and is totally expecting some ass.

(Now, needless to say – this guy couldn’t get in the ass if I gave him a compass and a flashlight and took him there … but that’s besides the point)

… so why all the fucking mini-drama. Like, if you wanted me to know … why drop hints? And if you didn’t want me to know … why fuck up? I mean, come on … the playas playbook CLEARLY says not to talk to one cat when you’re with a different one. You don’t’ answer text messages, you don’t take or make calls … and you certainly don’t tell one that you had dinner with the other.

Was there an update to the playbook and no one told me?