JACK needs to vent

You know how hey say that if you keep having the same problem that the common denominator is you? Well, obviously the problem is all me. And what's frustrating me is that this is the same problem I've identified before. And yet, here I am again.

Either I am attracted to the wrong type of guy or I attract the wrong type of guy. Either way, it's ALWAYS the wrong type of guy. Consider these things over the last two weeks:

• I was chillin with this dude on the DL. We were sitting in a bar out in the middle of nowhere and neither of us knew anyone. I told him, "you look really good, man." The place wasn't crowded or anything ... the rest of the night goes on. We drink, talk - joke around with the bartender (she was funny) and then nothing happened because he was TRASHED. lol. I get a text message later that week "My business is gonna be all out in the streets if I keep fuckin with you." The short version from this point on is that I haven't texted, called or anything him since. DL niggas are annoying as fuck.
• The dude I met earlier this year with whom I was smitten for for a bit ... he finally told me that he's upset with me and that he will eventually be able to talk to me. Mind you, he mentioned several weeks ago that he was just really going THROUGH it lately, and I called him each day to keep his spirits up. So, this dude is DL too (pattern, I know) and he was really feeling me and when I told him to shit or get off the pot (exact words) he got off the pot and we stopped toying around with the idea of being together. Maybe he's upset that I told him that he might be busying his life to not have to face his sexuality and he disagreed. Oh, did I mention the man has a twin brother who's gayer than the day is long and is out and the whole family accepts the lifestyle? I can't begin to understand. But this masculine man who is on the DL is upset with me and doesn't want to talk to me right now and he will let me know when he's ready. WHAT?!?
• Been talking to another guy recently, though. Was supposed to go see him this weekend. It was my only free weekend really and I was looking forward to it. Apparently, it turned out it was the same weekend he was having a dinner party ... so he invited me to that. It's been quiet on the HIM front and so I texted him only to find out that he had to cancel his dinner party and sent out emails, but forgot me. Oh. Nice.
• Two other dudes I was getting to know - I called each of them, left messages ... neither called me back.

I've decided I'm trying too hard. Thing is that I have it clear in my head that I'm not looking for anything serious - if it happens, then it happens. I said as much in an earlier post. But apparently, I'm STILL trying too hard.

Although, I suppose I could call back when I leave a message that isn't returned instead of just categorizing it "another nigga I ain't even gon' bother with." Yuh, I could just be desparate and keep calling ... because THAT worked really well with the nigga with whom I was smitten with.


So, aside from just accepting that I SUCK at picking men, I've also learned that apparently, masculine DL niggas turn into whiney little bitches when they don't get their way.

There I said it. It's been on my mind for a hot minute and I really needed to get that out.

Masculine DL Niggas are mirages, like oases. Except you don't have to be dehydrated and exhausted to see them. They're all over the fucking place ... hiding a terrified, vulnerable little bitch behind a stoic face and a goatee. You might THINK it's a man, because he look-uh like a man, but nay nay: Sheep in wolf's clothing.

I'm finally listening to the intelligent people in my life who have said this to me time and time again - I'm targeting the gay men who are at least as out as I am. If you're out there, email me - I'm in dire need of a good dic---- urrrr. I mean, HEY! How's it going?

(what? I had to maintain the humor that is central to my blog, right?)

carry on.