JACK spies with his little eye ...

I'm at the office today. Yes, my sorry ass, no-life-havin', bored self got on the train early this afternoon and headed into downtown. When I got onto the train, I was surprised to see standing room only - but by the plethora of jerseys in the car, I knew there was a ballgame. So, I'd get a seat about half way to downtown. That's cool.

I stood at the back of the car, against the door and there sat a 10-year old boy with his dad, both lookin stadium-ready. They talked about random shit. Dad pointed out into the sky to point out a 747 flying overhead. The boy thought is was a triple-7, but dad pointed out that there were two engines on each wing which was a dead giveaway that it was a 747.

At one point, dad poked his son in the rib cage and his son fell out laughing onto his dad's lap, apparently very ticklish. And his father, wearing his baseball cap and shades (and flip-flops, because EVERYBODY here does that shit - but that's another post) actually kissed his son on his head. TWICE. IN PUBLIC!!! And I so missed my son right then. I wanted to squeeze him and squoosh him and hug him and kiss him and ....

ok, you get the idea. But in my defense my son is 4!

So, apparently, this is what White fathers do. By contrast, consider that on my way to the train station I stopped off at the diner to get a bite to eat. Let's face it - cooking for one is retarded. So, I had me two eggs, over easy with hash browns and bacon ... and an english muffin oozing and drippy with butter. It was just divine. (That's the gay way of saying it was fuckin good, yo)

On my way back to the train station - a Black woman was talking on her cell phone ... all loud and shit. I'm pretty sure she was African because there're a lot of African immigrants in my neighborhood - that and she was yammering some yiddish that the yids from yiddia don't even understand. But anyway, again - I digress.

Walking along side her - well almost, maybe three or four steps ahead as well - was a 4 to 5 year old girl, pushing a stroller with some younger version of her sittin therein. No conversation between the mother and children ... just momma and her yiddish into the cell phone and a child pushing a stroller with a half sad/half tired look on her face.

While I was waiting on the platform for the train, I sat next to this Black woman (this one NOT from Africa - well, not directly anyway) with her son. He asked her why the train that pulled into the station in the opposite direction was just sitting there with the doors open. She shrugged - he asked again. She snapped and said, "I dunno." Well, I knew - the train ahead of it had JUST left the station and on a Saturday this is most unusual. They're usually spread apart by 10 minutes or so on a Saturday. So, one could easily deduce that the first train was late, or this one was early - but either way, this one was sitting in the station to put some distance between itself and the train ahead of it. But momma to the 4 year old boy? She shrugged.

Seriously, people - can we pay attention to our children? Why minorities always gotta be ignoring the kids like they're some nusiance, some in the way-ness that we wish could just *poof* and be someone else's responsibility? And where are the damn fathers?!?!? WHERE!

I'm tired of this bullshit - we have come too god damn far to be fathers who are absent. I exhonerate all the dads who WANT to be in their children's lives but deal with the crazy baby mommas who put entirely too much energy into making an ex- pay for shit. You women need to stop looking backwards and move forward to what life can offer you, not to what it didn't. But AGAIN - I digress. FUCK.

Absent fathers - I mean - where the fuck are we? There's a little boy out there who just wants to go to a ball game, who wants to talk about the world as he sees it, who wants you to tell him the difference between a 747 and a triple 7. And hell - maybe he knows you don't know the difference either and all he could use is simple smile, some eye contact and an I love you. Maybe there's a little girl who needs a daddy to treat her the way boys are supposed to treat girls so she knows to punch a nigga in the eye when he crosses lines. But, whatever - where are the parents of these minority children who want and need attention and directing towards positive things in life?

1. In jail (with Kwame)
   
2. Getting her nails done by Koreans
3. On the corner with some drink in a brown paper bag
4. Playing video games
5. On the phone wit' shequita about what rhonda did with malik
6. Or on the phone with Mercedes talkin about what Carmensita did with Jose
7. Gettin a tatoo
8. Gettin a fade, or extensions or her hair blown out
9. Watchin Maury
10. Slavin over a hot stove so Paco don't beat her for not doing it again

But we're not on a train pointing at a 747 talking about, "I'm a take you in a ride in one of those one day."

We're not taking our daughters out on their first dates to show them the ropes so that they understand that they don't have to put out just because a nigga bought you a steak.

In silent absentia, we're teaching our kids that they're not worth our time ... and that they need to find attention and affection and love wherever the fuck they can find it.

And find it they will, people. And find it, they will.

But at least your nails look pretty.