Black by Injection

For the longest time, I've claimed to be Black. It's my own terminology and definitely a JACKism. And I thought I would share a thought or two that ran through my mind since the last time I uttered these words.

An injection of Black doesn't automatically make you Black by Injection. I mean, it just doesn't. I've seen many a white gurl turning on the attitude and the turning up the volume and trying to be all hard because they fucked a Black dude ... and you can just SEE that they're trying. TRAH-RYYYYY-IIINNNNGGG. It comes across as racist rubbish, as if she can see how Black acts and emulate it ... as if it Black were an angora sweater you put on when you want to be all fancy and shit. Well, it's not. It simply is not.

I feel it's all about acceptance. I really have no qualms about walking in any neighborhood whatsoever. You know, one time I was stranded in Birmingham, Alabama (I curse Delta to this very day!) and was at the hotel bar. I needed cigarettes and asked the bartender where the nearest gas station was. He told me and it was a long ways, according to his "I drive everywhere I go" sense of distance, but I said I could totally walk it. He said he would be happy to drive me. So, he actually drove me. He was a little "Vinny" looking mother fucker with a high pitched voice and I almost died when this little dude pulled up in his Mazda Miata. Oh, what a sight. Well, I got in it and he proceeded to explain to me that he wanted to drive me because I would have had to walk through "the Black neighborhood."

I was mad on two fronts.

1. Who the fuck did he think he was projecting his racism on me! That shit pissed me off. As if that because I have an olive skin tone that means that I should automatically be afriad of Blacks. Fuck him!
2. You mean I coulda met me a brutha on the way to the gas station?!? And now I'm stuck in this little-man-syndrome of a car with VINNY?!?! AHHHHHHHH MMMMMMANNNNN.

So we got to the gas station and there they were! MY PEOPLE!!! Vinny walked in with me - I think he thought he was trying to protect me. And you know what? He made me feel less safe. That little mother fucker following me everywhere really made me feel like an eyesore. Nigga, I was fittin in just fine until you became my gas station shadow! I stalled, hoping the Miata would be on concrete blocks without tires by the time we got out there. But no - nobody fucked with his car. (It wasn't a Latino neighborhood after all)

But, back to my point. Black is not an angora sweater. (And, yes - I *had* to pick angora. I'm fucking GAY!). So, to all those who think it is: you totally look whack and no one really respects you. You either got the swagger or you don't. So, perhaps 'Black by Injection' is a misnomer. But I like it anyway.

But back to it being about acceptance. In my experience, the Black culture is the most accepting on the entire planet - for all the shit you can say about it (whether from within it or without it) I have got to say that I personally feel embraced by the culture. And with EVERY interracial couple I know ... EVERY LAST GODDAM ONE ... if there's one side of the family that's less accepting, it's the one that isn't Black.

Now about the term Black - some people prefer African American, and if that's you - don't put me on blast, please. The official PC term is Black (capitalized B) as defined by the American Psychological Association and so that's what I go with. I have to write all my damn school papers in APA style and so it just stuck. And if you're part of the Black co-culture that prefers the term African Ameripean - again, don't put me on blast. I know you exist and I know your opinions exist ... I just follow the rules I'm asked to follow by academia so I can get my damn Masters degree already

Whatever - I feel like I'm rambling now. Suffice it to say, I wear Black well and I don't mean it like I'm wearing rabbit. I mean that I am totally Black, by injection.

(which is why i say puerto rican is the new brown)

*poses*