OPEN LETTER TO SPRINT

For the past three months, you have screwed up my bill. And I can’t say it’s all that hard to do, what with all of the confusing ass charges you have. Three times I called trying to figure out how I was incurring casual data charges – and each time I got a different answer. On June 23 (or so) it was explained to me that my picture mail feature covers the per picture charge, but not the charge to connect to the internet. This is akin to buying a new electric range only to find out it doesn’t come with the damn power cord and you have to buy it separately. How retarded is that? Why would I buy a range I couldn’t plug in? And why the hell would I have picture mail if it didn’t cover the ability to MAIL PICTURES?!?!

Ok, fine – I accept that I didn’t know. And I’ll ignore the fact that the last two people I spoke to didn’t know either – yes, the two people that answer the phones at customer service FOR SPRINT - they didn't know. I paid all of those bills without complaint.

But then I get my next bill – and the vision pack isn’t on there. So, the one person who can EXPLAIN it to me, can’t figure out how to add it to my account. So I complain. And the next person I speak to (number 4) offers a credit and will fix my bill.

Next invoice – no vision pack. More charges. I call and complain and this next person (number 5) suggests changing my plan and adding the vision pack. I do this.

Just got my bill. $309 AYFKM?!? (are you fucking kidding me) So, I call and am so beyond frustrated at this point. Apparently, THIS rep (number 6) acknowledges that I have prorated charges that I shouldn’t have. Right, because the charges are prorated from July 25 to July 25. SMH

And so, I complain again … and Number 6 tells me that likely there’s nothing he can do about the $75 in casual data usage charges. I tell him it’s unacceptable and that I’m gonna have to speak with his supervisor. Number 6 wants to tell me that the supervisor is going to tell me the same thing. After 15 minutes on hold – Number 6 or his supervisor hangs up on me. I suppose the venom was dripping from my voice and they didn’t want anything to do with me. But, redial is a SON of a bitch.

So, I call back. I’m tenacious. Number 7 asks me what the problem is and I refuse to tell him. "You keep record of all incoming calls - I'm not going through this again. You can read it all on your screen. I'm happy to wait." He reads up and comes back as someone who knows what he’s talking about. Offers me a $75 credit BUT argues with me that it’s normal to get different answers from different people. Oh really?!? And here I thought he knew what he was talking about.

NO. If you are training all the same damn people with the same damn curriculum, then all these damn people should be giving the same damn answers to the same damn questions each time I ask them. (Did I tell you that JACK is working on his Masters degree in adult education training and development? hmmm?) Your customer service is sub-par, Period. And as for his telling me STILL that it’s natural to get different answers because you’re speaking to different human beings … I’m a put in writing what I told this smart azz.

When I go to Macy’s across the street, I can rest assured it’s the same damn signs and the same damn computer systems and the same damn EVERYTHING as the Macy’s in downtown Atlanta. But with Sprint – not so. Damn employees go through training and can’t retain anything but water and hot air. The problem is the people. And if all these damn people worked for ME … the only one left with a job would be number 7. He at least understood that I’ve been a loyal customer for YEARS and never once missed paying a bill … never once had my service interrupted … never once! And that got me my $75 credit. His response? “Well, thank you.” (oh, you didn’t think I actually said all this to him? I did. He couldn’t say nuthin about Macy’s)

Oh, did I mention I have three mother fucking lines? Right … three lines. And I’m half expecting to find a line item on my next bill for ho-hos or some shit.

God as my witness, if I get another bill charging me for ridiculous shit, I’m claiming breach of contract and taking my damn phone numbers to Verizon. So, Sprint – CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?!?