Friday, March 19, 2010

I know stupid when I see it

It's been a long time since JACK's Camera made an appearance around these parts and I bet you thought JACK had actually put his camera away, stopped taking pictures of things and people and perhaps he had actually stopped invading people's privacy by not only taking pictures of them without their permission, but posting them on the internets for everyone under the sun, moon and clouds to see. But I didn't. Instead, I've been collecting

Take I

I think it was those Japanese food places at the mall food courts that started this trend by shoving Bourbon Chicken in your face in those little white cups for you to sample and come back fiendishly looking to make a buy. But look closely here:


THIS bitch wants you to sample cat food.
(and, no, this wasn't Petsmart!)


Take II
After one of my hookups some time ago (it was Fall of 08, I think!), I left his apartment all wobbly in the legs because, let me tell ya, it was GOOD. And there on the corner ... was THIS place:



Totally stupid name, but this one made my day.
(Ok, actually, the dude did - but this was close second. Well, second.)





Take III
Before my current job moved, and when I was smoking, this was where I would go for my smoke breaks. It was easy to just chill in the parking garage because it's outdoors and there's a roof! Bonus.



But clearly if you're a jumper, they want you to be at least on the third floor. I think there's maybe liability if you survive the fall.





Take IV
It was really hot that day.



But, seriously? No one at the bank can get this shit right? It's NUMBERS, dammit!




Take V
Chicago weather can toy with the extremes.



BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!



Take VI

Now, I really appreciate construction signs. I really do. The last thing I want to do is be driving along, minding my own business and then have some kids daddy land on my windshield because I didn't know he was going to be there around the bend holding a SLOW sign.



But who the FUCK put this shit up? I mean, exactly what? Huh? Where?! Look, just tell me who the fuck did this - because THAT mother fucker I wanna run over.





TAKE VII

New York City. Circa a few months ago. I'm driving my rental when suddenly something tells me that may I really SHOULD have purchased that "walk away" insurance from Avis.




No, but really - aren't there schools where you practice on a closed course to get a CDL? I didn't even know thes signs CAME this big. I wonder if they make them big enough for airliners.









TAKE VII

Sometimes, however, I feel like stupidity is there to remind me that things could be oh so much worse for me. Like, fine - I'm single, I'm stressed a lot, I usually always tired from running so hard all the time ... but, I don't do shit like this



Clearly, there are no gay men on THIS marketing team.
(ooorrrr maYYYYbe there ARE - and this might just be sheer brilliance! Cuz I want one now)


TAKE IX - MY FAVORITE




Nigga, PLEASE get your big, dumb black ass out of the Walmart shopping cart and wait in line properly like the rest of us. DAMN!

2 comments:

yet another black guy said...

you so wrong !!!

TOY COUTURE said...

"THIS bitch wants you to sample cat food.
(and, no, this wasn't Petsmart!)"

Are you serious!!! Get the f*ck out!!!!